Welcome to the first Timothy Dalton Bond film. Over the years he has gotten a bad rap for being a poor Bond but honestly he was doing what Daniel Craig has been years ago. It was just at the time the public wasn't willing to accept it. On top of that we are finally entering the modern age of Bond films and leaving the cartoon's behind. We start in an hour.
:09 shit new logo's. that's new
1:27 up till this point we had barely seen other 00 agents let alone 3 in a room. quick take a picture
2:40 sweet paintball. let me go get my gear
2:58 these are the worst 00's ever
4:09 fucking monkeys
4:22 at the least it's not too eighties. it's torable eighties music
5:15 paintballs don't stop cars you idiot
5:31 it's about time that i can actually believe bond is capable of doing these things.
6:04 you see the monkey's here are the real villains. it's all apart of their evil plan. watch and see.
7:09 and when she means real man she really means an asshole with a 9 ft cock
7:32 i'm not a fan of how cavalier dalton is with the bond james bond line
8:19 who ever does this song is automatically better than duran duran. still eighties but tolerable
9:45 the name of the band is a-ha?? ummmmmm...ok
10:39 national geographic would like to say high again
11:17 I used to have a pair of those kind of binoculars. when i was eight
12:20 assassin bond is assassiny
12:55 i do like the fact bond is a straight up assassin here. makes him more badass and believable
13:55 "what are the epk readings Egon?"
14:58 a sniper with a shotgun? she's not very smart. borderline mentally handicapped
15:50 see clear mission objectives. it seperates the good bond films from the bad ones
16:30 "....i could tell because of the tits. you know, women usually have those."
18:06 russians converters are the worst. whine, whine, whine
18:53 "it is the sex time!!"
19:13 is she trying to have sex with him or kill him with her tits. i'm really confused here
20:16 i think that would be fun. be shoot through a tube across several miles. kick ass
21:47 i like smarmy bond, asshole bond is of course just an asshole
22:20 oh look guys it's the title of the film
22:54 A: new moneypenny hooray, B: female assassin that used teddy bear explosives?
23:39 are they trying to do the whole thing where money penny takes off her classes she's hot but with them on she's ugly. because either way i'm good to go here
25:02 this is a really weird security system. just have a regular security force instead of everyone is hiding. you're in england for godsakes.
26:12 yeah where's you shitty security now? this guy just had to dress up like a milkman to get in
27:25 "how do you say 'put away'" ummm i'm pretty sure you guys use the same term and those are really simple words so right now i'm questioning your intelligence
28:37 don't you just hate it when you get caught stuffing a man in a man sized fridge.
29:40 if movies have taught me anything it's that never trust an unknown voice over a walkie talkie telling you exit a building because of a gas leak.
30:16 milk grenades. the most dangerous of them all
31:04 "how dare you put your clothes on my perch. it's just rude" it's the parrot talking by the way
32:22 still the classic M office. the broccoli plays it old school
34:15 there are other people in the room. aren't you guys worried about gassing them? you've gotten sloppy Q
35:24 hooray moneypenny isn't just a secretary she's actually an intelligence officer. about fucking time she got to do something
36:55 and this is the story of how james bond moved uncomfortable close to other people on the bus
37:55 PROFESSOR! (you may know him better as gimli from lotr however I know him from sliders)
38:52 so there's a guy pissing there. i guess we'll ignore him then
39:10 "this isn't a cello at all!"
40:15 that was a really awkward silent moment there. i have nothing clever too say
42:00 she's a little too excited about this
43:15 the timing here would have to be incredible.
43:50 smash cut to getting the cello, classic
44:19 "several hours later"
45;23 new austin martin is new. i feel like i've seen this before, perhaps, maybe, i don't know
46:30 i really feel for these henchmen right now. "WHO PUTS ROCKETS IN THEIR CAR! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! IT'S NOT FAIR!"
47:38 this chase is pretty kick ass
48:25 so was like a russian police convention nearby because these guys are coming out of no where right now
49:39 that's not how you use a cello at all! you're just making shit up now aren't you bond
50:08 because using it as a rudder in the snow wasn't already damaging it
51:12 PROFESSOR!
51:35 so not creepy then?
52:33 again awesome models.
53:30 "but professor we only have 40 minutes until the next slide"
55:27 don't be a liar bond. no one like a liar
56:30 A SECOND BEDROOM!! who are you and what have you done with bond?
57:19 that dude totally just belly flopped it
58:15 where is his dick? there is no way he's not tucking
59:55 lady that's not clapping that's seal imitating which is illegal in several country's
1:01:26 this guy didn't need much convince. hell he's willing to throw away his penshion
1:01:51 also she's pretty cozy up to bond for being with another man
1:02:53 balloon assassin's are the worst
1:03:30 bond stop being a liar. you didn't arrange jack shit
1:04:12 DON'T MAKE THE ELEPHANT WATCH! BE HUMANE!
1:06:03 ok that sucks. that is a horrible way to go
1:06:58 dramatic turn is dramatic
1:07:30 now you want to fucking stay. first it's orgi this orgi that and now you don't want to fucking go. goddmanit
1:09:01 professor you can't fall in love we have to slide in two days!
1:10:00 i'm pretty sure this is the first time we've seen bond use a silencer on the ppk
1:11:28 classic bond. abusing women for his own purposes
1:12:30 bond is a cold hearted bastard. i'm fucking eating this up.
1:13:57 you're such an asshole bond
1:14:17 also bourne before bourne. SUCK IT!
1:15:21 thank god professor we almost thought we lost you. quick we slide in 33 seconds!
1:16:23 FELIX!! FUCK YEAH! we haven't seen you in a while
1:17:13 yes you told us, can you stop dancing now, please
1:18:30 "well as seeing as you drink like 20 of these a day it's hard to forget"
1:19:22 you were clearly set up to die. i don't understand why she doesn't believe bond
1:19:42 and down he goes
1:20:14 bitch you be stupid. you just believe what ever anyone tells you don't you.
1:21:24 for some reason i don't believe hearts keep beating ONCE YOU TAKE THEM OUT OF A PERSON!
1:22:20 no bond you've been pretty much spot on. she's made all the major mistakes here
1:25:56 he really likes his job. it's like his own little fish tank
1:26:49 "dude, you really need to make up your mind, up, down, i'm getting motion sick here"
1:28:08 he just gave the jailer the bird. awesome!
1:29;43 bond's random vehicle of choice today is stair car. that's right stair car
1:31:06 ah pre 9-11 you were so cute. no body in their right mind would film this today and make them the good guys
1:33:04 in the room out of the room. jesus the people in this film can't make up their mind
1:33:53 everyone else in this film has no idea what they are saying. their just laughing for no reason. it kind of happens when your high as a fucking kite
1:35:55 this women is really clingy
1:37:17 at least bond isn't riding a camel
1:39:58 yeah some high tech explosives and a timer to match, in the middle of the desert. sure no problem i keep them up my ass just in case
1:41:33 bond you're so fucking lucky. no one saw in the back, really?
1:42:02 "did she just run off with an ak" "yup" "with plans to fight them all" "yup" "with no back up" "yup" "is she stupid" "yup"
1:44:41 so we've got a timer folks. let see if the filmmakers even try to match in real time
1:45:18 i don't think a single bullet would destroy the plane. no, no, i can guarentee that a single bullet will not destroy the plane
1:46:16 yeah pre 9-11 was awesome. no one really gave a shit
1:46:57 seriously bitch if you even think of joining that fight i will hate you forever
1:48:06 dude you could have just told him what to do there was no reason to pull him out
1:48:26 bitch i told you not to get involved
1:50:25 again i don't think a couple of bullets will make the plane blow up. they're a little more durable than you think
1:51:24 don't look scarred now. you're the one that got on the plane for no reason
1:53:04 what part of straight and level do you not understand. and now you're just pulling levers for no reason
1:54:40 hooray free opium for everone
1:54:55 so has anyone gotten their stop watches out becuase by my time we're over by two minutes at least
1:56:41 that is a big moutain. you just not see that
1:58:05 lucky bond is lucky
1:58:47 "well do you see that light that's blinking" "yeah" "and do you see it labeled as fuel warning" "yeah" "IT MEANS WE ARE OUT OF FUCKING FUEL!"\
2:01:22 oh right we still have another villain to kill
2:02:10 "and that was before lunch"
2:03:07 of all the people bond should know NOT to shoot at the shield
2:04:22 PROFESSOR you're just in time for the slide!
2:05:31 i'm not musician but i'm pretty sure a bullet hole would have some great effect of the output of the instrument. welcome to my pretentious corner of the day
2:06:43 sweet the russian general. this dude has been around forever. kick ass
2:07:19 what is this ? the films greatest hits section. also afghan rebels fully armed on british soil. yeah that totally happens
and we're done. tomorrow i shall return same bond time same bond channel
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