Monday, February 7, 2011

"Tomorrow Never Dies" Live Blog!

As the first Bond film I ever saw Tomorrow Never Dies has a special place in my heart. Certainly not one of the best Bond films but certainly a lot of fun. We Live Blog at 2 eastern.

:48 still with the cold war themes then is it bond?

1:22 no it's exactly like a terroist supermarket. they even have a acne riddled seventeen year old maning the self checkout line

2:20 lol terroism

3:06 i wonder if the military actually do have a "war" switch

4:22 "make chernoble look like picnic" standerd talk for "this isn't good and there will be lots of radation"

5:20 i do like that everyone is watching bond be a badass

6:03 stop shooting at the nuclear warheads please

7:00 where have they been holding this bizaar, the lord of the rings set?

8:11 dude you are in the plane, stop strangling the pilot. there are a lot of bad decisions going on here

10:00 A: i'm glad maurice binder isn't designing anymore, he was great at the time B: Yes it's sheryl crow but the song isn't that bad. it's decent

11:39 the only sad part is that there are no more random tit shots that for some reason the mpaa didn't see. sad face

12:44 this early in the film? and bond isn't on board? this motherfucker is going to sink. there is no debating the matter.

14:50 Carver is a classic bond villain through and through

16:43 i don't feel a torpedo with a drill like that can actually be manueverable

17:37 inapproprate use of slow mo Case #418

19:20 it's like shooting people in a barrel...which i guess could be even easier.

20:46 "consider him slimed" ???????????? i guess that's bad

22:32 this certianly hasn't been to any kine of study season i've ever been to

23:50 with M being a woman now it actually makes her dynamic with moneypenny more interesting as well. i wish they would actually explore it a little

25:48 sure the older films are great but the modern age of bond films have a huge leg up. clear objectives, defined clearly

27:07 the judi dench M is even a heavier drinker than previous M's

28:17 poor Q, he doesn't have teeth anymore

29:20 i think brosnan's bond had the best on screen chemistry with Q

30:55 i don't know what language bond is speaking here but i know he's speaking it poorly

32:20 well that scene was awkwardly structured. bond introduced himself and then walked off

33:20 i don't mind teri hatcher but isn't around for long so no biggie

35:17 even in '97 people really didn't understand how satillites work

37:22 well that was slightly melodramatic don'tcha think?

37:55 and when he means keep him uncomfortable he actually means keep punching him in the kidneys

38:44 Carver really likes to hear his own voice. even more so than a bond villain

39:57 why fire someone because they don't possess magic powers. it's not like she can summon electricty to keep the whole building running

41:30 you were sixteen why were you in hong kong?? seem's awfully odd

43:20 for the first time it seems like bond is hesitant to have sex with some one. where's guiness when you need them

44:40 ok call me niave but are women's dresses actually that easy to take off. there's no way

45:55 carver is awfully glib about killing his own wife. unlike many bond villains he's a public figure

47:35 there are a lot of guards here. even goldfinger would have a hard time getting in

49:30 i bet sony made that phone. it only does everything

50:46 shooting things to lock doors makes more sense then shooting to open doors. kudos james

51:14 wouldn't that make you a little vulnerable to attack. stupid chinese

52:14 seriously these guys must get payed a lot to warrant such devotion

53:07 welcome to the second paper mill fight in the bond franchise. last time was Diamond's are forever.

54:55 bond really needs to work on his parking skills

56:20 kind of a dick move to play the tape just to let bond see it before he dies

58:30 are these people suppose to have german accents or something because i'm having a hard time placing the accents

1:00:00 so begins the gadget car chase. if done well they are always awesome

1:01:58 WHY DOES HE HAVE A ROCKET LAUNCHER! they came to kill MAYBE one guy not start a revolution

1:04:04 he should have been felix. the brosnan bond never got a felix

1:07:57 that would hurt like a motherfucker

1:08:08 and he's really fucking lucky. fuck you bond fuck you

1:09:39 over and over i repeat myself. underwater action scenes are neither thriller nor action filled

1:11:15 and then their lungs explode

1:11:55 how much would it suck to get an arrow through you. there's no way you would die instantly

1:13:42 ummmmm nobody types like that and have no real accuracy

1:15:28 unnecassary henchmen skills are unnecassary. just shoot him in the head

1:17:25 lol bond almost said "oh shit" i wish he did

1:18;32 sure the whole "we have to work together because we are handcuffed together" thing is pretty old but i this chase is pretty good

1:20:17 god these henchmen suck does anyone know how to shoot a gun

1:22:42 i know carver is a sociopath but i doubt the chopper pilot is

1:24:19 baby butt, deal with it

1:26:20 "well we hired michelle yeoh, i guess we have to give her one martial art scene right?"

1:29:09 why put all this junk in here if it's obviously a spy base?

1:30:25 oh look a mini Q scene, chinese style

1:31;27 oh look it's scaramanga's blown up base from thirty years ago

1:33:09 "do you see the stealth" "no and do you know why because it's stealth"

1:35:08 "i watch the monitors, that's why you hired me"

1:37:13 you see carver doesn't even care about headlines he just wants to play a bigger version of risk or battleship

1:39:13 mcguyver bond is my favorite

1:40:43 jesus bond stop thinking with your dick and shoot the asshole. she's a commy she doesn't care

1:42:45 random ninja stars i can dig it

1:44:36 "WE'RE JUST ENGINEERS STOP SHOOTING, WE DONT' EVEN CARRY GUNS!

1:46:19 seriuosly guys you are still in the ship. it doesn't your help sinking

1:48:51 good job bond you could have just walked around

1:49:16 carver saying "mr. bond" is pretty badass

1:50:44 or you could just shoot them both

1:52:45 stupid zippers never work when you need them too

1:54:10 and then the sharks from deep blue sea show up and eat both of them

1:55:14 he just wanted to get banged first. asshole.

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