"Tomorrow Never Dies" Live Blog!

As the first Bond film I ever saw Tomorrow Never Dies has a special place in my heart. Certainly not one of the best Bond films but certainly a lot of fun. We Live Blog at 2 eastern.

:48 still with the cold war themes then is it bond?

1:22 no it's exactly like a terroist supermarket. they even have a acne riddled seventeen year old maning the self checkout line

2:20 lol terroism

3:06 i wonder if the military actually do have a "war" switch

4:22 "make chernoble look like picnic" standerd talk for "this isn't good and there will be lots of radation"

5:20 i do like that everyone is watching bond be a badass

6:03 stop shooting at the nuclear warheads please

7:00 where have they been holding this bizaar, the lord of the rings set?

8:11 dude you are in the plane, stop strangling the pilot. there are a lot of bad decisions going on here

10:00 A: i'm glad maurice binder isn't designing anymore, he was great at the time B: Yes it's sheryl crow but the song isn't that bad. it's decent

11:39 the only sad part is that there are no more random tit shots that for some reason the mpaa didn't see. sad face

12:44 this early in the film? and bond isn't on board? this motherfucker is going to sink. there is no debating the matter.

14:50 Carver is a classic bond villain through and through

16:43 i don't feel a torpedo with a drill like that can actually be manueverable

17:37 inapproprate use of slow mo Case #418

19:20 it's like shooting people in a barrel...which i guess could be even easier.

20:46 "consider him slimed" ???????????? i guess that's bad

22:32 this certianly hasn't been to any kine of study season i've ever been to

23:50 with M being a woman now it actually makes her dynamic with moneypenny more interesting as well. i wish they would actually explore it a little

25:48 sure the older films are great but the modern age of bond films have a huge leg up. clear objectives, defined clearly

27:07 the judi dench M is even a heavier drinker than previous M's

28:17 poor Q, he doesn't have teeth anymore

29:20 i think brosnan's bond had the best on screen chemistry with Q

30:55 i don't know what language bond is speaking here but i know he's speaking it poorly

32:20 well that scene was awkwardly structured. bond introduced himself and then walked off

33:20 i don't mind teri hatcher but isn't around for long so no biggie

35:17 even in '97 people really didn't understand how satillites work

37:22 well that was slightly melodramatic don'tcha think?

37:55 and when he means keep him uncomfortable he actually means keep punching him in the kidneys

38:44 Carver really likes to hear his own voice. even more so than a bond villain

39:57 why fire someone because they don't possess magic powers. it's not like she can summon electricty to keep the whole building running

41:30 you were sixteen why were you in hong kong?? seem's awfully odd

43:20 for the first time it seems like bond is hesitant to have sex with some one. where's guiness when you need them

44:40 ok call me niave but are women's dresses actually that easy to take off. there's no way

45:55 carver is awfully glib about killing his own wife. unlike many bond villains he's a public figure

47:35 there are a lot of guards here. even goldfinger would have a hard time getting in

49:30 i bet sony made that phone. it only does everything

50:46 shooting things to lock doors makes more sense then shooting to open doors. kudos james

51:14 wouldn't that make you a little vulnerable to attack. stupid chinese

52:14 seriously these guys must get payed a lot to warrant such devotion

53:07 welcome to the second paper mill fight in the bond franchise. last time was Diamond's are forever.

54:55 bond really needs to work on his parking skills

56:20 kind of a dick move to play the tape just to let bond see it before he dies

58:30 are these people suppose to have german accents or something because i'm having a hard time placing the accents

1:00:00 so begins the gadget car chase. if done well they are always awesome

1:01:58 WHY DOES HE HAVE A ROCKET LAUNCHER! they came to kill MAYBE one guy not start a revolution

1:04:04 he should have been felix. the brosnan bond never got a felix

1:07:57 that would hurt like a motherfucker

1:08:08 and he's really fucking lucky. fuck you bond fuck you

1:09:39 over and over i repeat myself. underwater action scenes are neither thriller nor action filled

1:11:15 and then their lungs explode

1:11:55 how much would it suck to get an arrow through you. there's no way you would die instantly

1:13:42 ummmmm nobody types like that and have no real accuracy

1:15:28 unnecassary henchmen skills are unnecassary. just shoot him in the head

1:17:25 lol bond almost said "oh shit" i wish he did

1:18;32 sure the whole "we have to work together because we are handcuffed together" thing is pretty old but i this chase is pretty good

1:20:17 god these henchmen suck does anyone know how to shoot a gun

1:22:42 i know carver is a sociopath but i doubt the chopper pilot is

1:24:19 baby butt, deal with it

1:26:20 "well we hired michelle yeoh, i guess we have to give her one martial art scene right?"

1:29:09 why put all this junk in here if it's obviously a spy base?

1:30:25 oh look a mini Q scene, chinese style

1:31;27 oh look it's scaramanga's blown up base from thirty years ago

1:33:09 "do you see the stealth" "no and do you know why because it's stealth"

1:35:08 "i watch the monitors, that's why you hired me"

1:37:13 you see carver doesn't even care about headlines he just wants to play a bigger version of risk or battleship

1:39:13 mcguyver bond is my favorite

1:40:43 jesus bond stop thinking with your dick and shoot the asshole. she's a commy she doesn't care

1:42:45 random ninja stars i can dig it

1:44:36 "WE'RE JUST ENGINEERS STOP SHOOTING, WE DONT' EVEN CARRY GUNS!

1:46:19 seriuosly guys you are still in the ship. it doesn't your help sinking

1:48:51 good job bond you could have just walked around

1:49:16 carver saying "mr. bond" is pretty badass

1:50:44 or you could just shoot them both

1:52:45 stupid zippers never work when you need them too

1:54:10 and then the sharks from deep blue sea show up and eat both of them

1:55:14 he just wanted to get banged first. asshole.

"GoldenEye" Live Blog!

Well it's seven years since Licence to Kill and the franchise, in many eyes, was dead in the water. Welcome to one of the early versions of the reboot. GoldenEye is considered by many to be one of the best Bond films and changed the way people look at Bond for the next two decades. Lets have some fun. We start at 2 eastern.

:13 back to the old logo, interesting

:23 i always thought brosnan had the best pose in the barrel shot

1:05 even in '95 stunt men were actually doing stunts instead of fucking cgi dolls

2:33 really all i can think of right now is the n64 game

3:21 there are a lot of hero shots here showing off brosnan on bond it's like the filmmakers are saying "hey, hey, he's bond right?"

4:09 i do like brosnan's dry delievery of the quips. he's much more cynical

5:25 brosnan's hair is a little too big. it looks like he's wearing a helmet

6:03 DO NOT RUN TOWARDS THE MAN WITH THE MACHINE GUN!

6:36 Ah russians and being all russiany

7:39 hardcore villain's don't fuck around don't shoot means don't shoot

8:47 with the second ext. shot i'm really confused on the logistics of this complex how did diving into a dam get them at the top of a moutain

10:14 this was smart. instead of having bond talk a lot they let his actions speak. i now know bond is a bad ass

11:07 i personally believe that this song is one of the best bond theme's in the franchise

13:18 "we have the austin martin, see, see! he's bond now right?"

13:50 jesus '80's music is desperately crawling out of it's cave and into this movie

14:34 did the composer discover a keyboard that day because he's sure as hell not using different instruments

15:51 why doesn't jean gray just use her telekentic powers and win the race

16:57 classic bond doesn't even hesitates to get laid

18:48 lol he means sex

19:17 "it's the scene from Dr. No. see! see! he's bond right!?"

20:31 there are so many phalic images and inneaudo's going on here that i'm afraid they'll break the space time continuem

21:48 nothing says fancy like people actually clapping at a mime show

22:57 hooray moneypenny has an actual job again

23:32 lol i just realized that this is the first actual sex scene in the bond franchise. they always cut away. and of course someone dies in it.

24:26 so she likes to kill men when they are in her vagina? that's not creepy.

26:40 men are so easily distracted

27:43 and there is goes. goodbye experimental helicopter. we'll miss you

28:47 ah alan cumming you're so cheeky

29:27 if they're russian shouldn't they be speaking russian in russia

30:24 oh that makes two mutants in the same bond film. just realized that.

32:17 space division? ummmmm ok that seems like it's making the whole space thing a little trivial

33:08 fuck villain model making i want to be a safe maker now

33:47 i never bought the concept that a villain is more evil when they actually recieve sexual pleasure from killing people. it's too easy

35:26 "yup it's coffee just had to make sure"

36:58 sick burn! these two have really good chemistry together

37:58 Judi Dench is the most badass M the franchise has ever had.

38:52 sick american burn!

40:14 it was a sad day for tv monitors everywhere. a day that will live in infamy

42:42 this is cool and all but you know i am here to see a bond film. not a random chick in russia film

44:48 you see the only reason bond could even tell there was someone alive because he's female love interest sense was tingling. a goddman superman that bond is

45:44 can you believe that this is the second M office ever in the franchise.

46:56 the dynamic here is what makes a good chunk of the modern age of bond films. Dench fucking makes this

49:58 i love we know and you know situations. they're so dickish in nature

50:37 it's nice to see Q as always

52:03 what exaclty determines the class of grenade?

53:17 don't trust him bond! he was a villain two movies ago

54:36 he should be felix goddamn it.

56:04 it says IBM on the sign so i know it's a computer store. thanks movie

56:41 she would make a great spy

59:03 "the candles blew out, i'm in danger!"

59:58 hi minnie driver, how are you doing?

1:01:07 i'm enjoying all the subtext in this film so far. Bond is an ancient idea from a different time

1:03:11 a lot of back story here that i can't keep up with.

1:03:58 can't bond just relax for five fucking minutes. always henchmen fucking up his shit

1:05:24 this is one of teh oddest fights i have ever seen

1:07:08 welcome to creepy russian statue emporium! half off sale

1:08:28 see this is why goldeneye is one of the best. 006 is the darkness inside bond. it makes the story personal and meaningful. a singluar opponent bond must fight

1:10:40 oh uh dart in your neck

1:11:11 you know bitch instead of just yelling you could come up with your own plan

1:12:12 someone watched die hard 2

1:12:35 so no one stuck around to make sure they died

1:14:31 cue sad sack music for sad sack story

1:15:45 bond misses goldfinger. at least they could have a decent conversation before threats.

1:17:08 well then. dead bodies. well fuck. who is cleaning all this up now?'

1:17:57 what is he using electric bullets? there is no way there should be sparks like this

1:19:35 stupid women always falling through holes in the floor

1:20:25 classic bond. when in doubt overkill

1:21:03 Fast and the furious: Tank drifting. if you ain't outa control you ain't in control

1:21:52 seriously do russian's even have seat belts

1:22:57 blues brothers: the russian remake

1:24:05 they just don't do shit like this anymore. fucking awesome and with the bond theme blaring in the back ground. fucking awesome

1:27:50 never play chicken with bond. he will either win or cheat

1;29:14 sean bean is such a great villain. i believe that he feels that he's already won

1:30:58 "what are you doing? woman usually shreek in fright about now"

1:32;31 boris has the worst passwords

1:33;55 "i'm willing to have sex with you now even though there was nothing romantic between us since we met"

1:36:09 I like this guy but his name should really be felix

1:36:57 so bond gets a new car and it doesn't get it's own action scene lame

1:38:57 do we really need a fire place shot. this is the bond franchise we have moved on from that

1:39:56 and they have sex again. i don't think we needed that

1:41:24 and now you've given your self away. good job bad guys

1:44:13 and then jean grey dies and becomes the phoenix and kills everyone

1:46:25 you know the water has to go somewhere

1:49:52 was bond just bro raped there? those russians seemed to enjoy it

1:51:30 did IBM sponser this film or something. their sticker is on everything

1:51:50 someone watched die hard

1:52:53 006 makes some really good points here. some actual character work in a bond film? you don't say.

1:54:23 so he's typing with one hand. damn he's pretty good

1:55:42 bond you lucky ass hole

1:57:47 these guns sound awefully plasticy

1:58:50 finally a villain that can actually fight bond hand to hand.

2:00:17 watching this again i can really see martin campbells direction of the fights finding their way into casino royale as well

2:03:33 again what did they fill that dish with? gasoline

2:05:43 "never mind that we just killed a lot of people, lets go have sex"

2:06:30 holy shit what a bad ending credits song

"Licence to Kill" Live Blog!

Here it is the last of the bronze age bond films. It was Dalton's last and possibly weaker film but still entertaining. Should be fun. I'll start in an hour. However there is a new development. You can actually watch me Live Blog it here on Justin.tv. Just type in the word ScanCase (that's my user name) and I should pop up. I start at 2 eastern.

1:10 the last time bond went to a wedding things did go to well. if memory serves.

2:11 is that suppose to be quarrel as well?

2:57 you know some women like that. I'm not sure exaclty if it's punishment

3:58 however was on that guitar was having fun

4:15 slow motion dea run is epic.

5:05 and bond stops them with one bullet while the americans are running around with autos

6:15 that's not how you fly a plane at all!

6:34 i like how the two swat guys are confused on what bond is going to do

7:22 this has to be either a really fast helicopter or an extremely slow plane

8:55 at this point i think maurice binder was just get bored or tired.

9:47 slow bond songs usually don't work, and this was written in the musical void of the late eighties.

11:41 why does the cuban villain have to be called sanchez

12:33 please don't sleep with the bride. please please please

13:10 i think this is the most we have had felix on screen EVER!

14:05 what kind of cd-rom was that! it was massive

15:27 and when she means surprise she means her vagina

15:45 see that's what's really missing, friends. we never see bond have actual friends.

17:11 oh look props from the spy who loved me have made a return visit. how nice of them

17:57 and the marriage thing comes up again. at least in context it actually adds to the character and makes him a tragic figure. again something the daniel craig bond has now

19:38 early bencio del toro, yup he still has puppy dog eyes

20:44 not personal?? you're throwing him into a shark tank!

21:37 "see you in hell" that's one of the best versions of that line that i have seen

22:43 you think someone would have told bond that

23:30 i can imagine bond having some bad flashbacks right now

24:33 felix is a tough son of a bitch

26;00 bond's about to kill some bitchs

26:34 well you're here so i'm pretty sure that someone is here

27:07 i don't buy this guy as a marine biologist

28:37 the shark from universal studio's just wanted to say high

29:42 this is the worst worm pit

29:57 this guy takes a lot of pride in his job guarding the worm pit

31:23 i doubt eels light up like that when they kill things

32:35 there is a single thing that has remained nearly consistant with bond. he doesn't care about money or real wealth

33:46 REALLY! LAWS IN AMERICA! I didn't know

34:22 kitty's. they're so cute

35:25 jesus they way you guys fairy bond around in the lap of luxury i thought you guys actually were a country club

36:00 would they really shoot at bond? i don't think so

36:40 what is this the rape room? she just sits there and waits.

37:24 drunk acting is drunk

37:50 "it's large sir. we think it's james bond's penis"

38:15 seriously you guys don't know what a manta ray is??

38:35 also if bond has been cut off where did he get the manta ray from? he's just got one sitting around at his house just in case

40:18 was the dude in the back masturbating??

41:30 female abuse. classic bond

42:00 wow they're going text book with the whole broken girlfriend thing

46:48 even dalton isn't safe from the inevitable underwater fight

43:27 "because there's no way he stole the scuba equipment from the guy he just shot"

45:49 see at this point bond is doing his best to make everyone have a horrible day

48:21 so desperate was he not to die a virgin before he fell to his death he started having sex with the door.

49:58 there was no reason to make the drive that big! what a waste of plastic

50:59 oh god burn it with fire! this bar is horrendious

52;06 how did she even get that shotgun into the bar?

53:16 ok random people are just fighting now. was everyone this desperate for a fight that they'll start punching at the nearest spark

55:11 at least she was wearing kevlar you asshole

56:41 so what is she a mercenary or a bounty hunter or something?

57:23 well they got cozy quick, i guess a near death situation will do that

57:50 and moneypenny is back to be a secretary. fuck.

59:40 in the bond universe it's always a mans world, lol stupid woman

1:00:53 he is a known criminal why are they even there talking to him

1:01:42 i'm a fan of the short hair

1:02:26 i can't image an iguana being a particularly emotionally satisfying pet

1:05:38 i love how bond now has stacks and stacks of chips now just building in front of him

1:06:25 "remember bitch fucking shaken, i will not tolerate a stirred drink!"

1:09:27 bond isn't doing a very good job of being inconspicious here

1:11:16 asian man is suspicious

1:11:56 that's a smaller gun then even bond. it's practically a water pistol at this point

1:12:56 beginning to think Q can predict the future. he always shows up with the right gadgets.

1:15:06 she always wants to stay. does she ever fucking leave??

1:17:29 see he's mexican because he said amigo's. thanks movie

1:18:47 oh shit i just recognized him. the bad guy in mortal combat. "YOU'RE SOUL BELONGS TO ME!"

1:19:48 all the women there are at least a full head toller than everyone else. also are the prositutes because they seemed a little too happy to be there

1:21:48 fucking ninjas always fucking up your shit

1:23:46 well i guess that's one to flush everyone out. motherfucking tank

1:25:29 fuck! that's creepy. i didn't know myizake was a guest designer on this film

1:27:56 bond, king of the improvisers

1:29:00 "and he just told me"

1:30:25 Q rocking the glasses. does he always just sit around with those on

1:32:05 that is perhaps the most boring dress in the entire bond franchise

1:33:07 do we really need the guitar every time sanchez shows up

1:34:10 i'm glad they labeled the buttons so clearly i wouldn't have known what she was doing. thanks movie

1:35:02 there is literally nothing holding her boobs in place

1:36:28 it's funny to think that all these villains lead normal bad guys lives and then one day bond shows up and starts the most crazy ass shit and they just can't believe it's happening

1:37:38 this would be the worst way to die hands down

1:39:00 how many times is bond going to have to say that he's better on his own until everyone actually gets it

1:40:17 i think this is the latest into a bond film that the villain hasn't figured out bond is trying to take them down

1:41:35 and she sleeps with him for no particular reason

1:42:28 at least Q is there to tell her that Bond has slept with more people than hugh hefner

1:44:01 well this has creepy suicide cult written all over it

1:45:30 how do you hide a complex like this. kind of insane

1:46:55 bencio del toro stares into your soul

1:47:58 cliche asian is cliche excited

1:49:15 are they playing beethoven in the background?

1:50:52 IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A FIRE! does no one have a fire extinguisher?

1:53:18 del toro stares into yours soul

1:53:39 and there he goes. bye del toro we'll miss your body parts being spread around everywhere

1:55:47 yes we'll catch them in a golf cart. that's a great idea

1:56:39 what is this place made of gasoline

1:58:06 this guy is really enjoying his music. nevermind the tanker his driving

1:59:22 you don't use stinger MISSILES like that

2;00:27 Why just why?

2:01:22 you have to give it a second. things don't explode like that

2:02:42 just do it we know you will

2:02:58 GRAVEDIGGER!

2:04:16 Your tires are on fire. i thought you should know that

2:0j6:18 you wouldn't live through tat without serious injuries

2:07:17 and everything blows up. the end

2:08:00 this is the most beat up i've ever seen bond

2:09:30 and bond jumps to his death. end of franchise

"The Living Daylights" Live Blog!

Welcome to the first Timothy Dalton Bond film. Over the years he has gotten a bad rap for being a poor Bond but honestly he was doing what Daniel Craig has been years ago. It was just at the time the public wasn't willing to accept it. On top of that we are finally entering the modern age of Bond films and leaving the cartoon's behind. We start in an hour.

:09 shit new logo's. that's new

1:27 up till this point we had barely seen other 00 agents let alone 3 in a room. quick take a picture

2:40 sweet paintball. let me go get my gear

2:58 these are the worst 00's ever

4:09 fucking monkeys

4:22 at the least it's not too eighties. it's torable eighties music

5:15 paintballs don't stop cars you idiot

5:31 it's about time that i can actually believe bond is capable of doing these things.

6:04 you see the monkey's here are the real villains. it's all apart of their evil plan. watch and see.

7:09 and when she means real man she really means an asshole with a 9 ft cock

7:32 i'm not a fan of how cavalier dalton is with the bond james bond line

8:19 who ever does this song is automatically better than duran duran. still eighties but tolerable

9:45 the name of the band is a-ha?? ummmmmm...ok

10:39 national geographic would like to say high again

11:17 I used to have a pair of those kind of binoculars. when i was eight

12:20 assassin bond is assassiny

12:55 i do like the fact bond is a straight up assassin here. makes him more badass and believable

13:55 "what are the epk readings Egon?"

14:58 a sniper with a shotgun? she's not very smart. borderline mentally handicapped

15:50 see clear mission objectives. it seperates the good bond films from the bad ones

16:30 "....i could tell because of the tits. you know, women usually have those."

18:06 russians converters are the worst. whine, whine, whine

18:53 "it is the sex time!!"

19:13 is she trying to have sex with him or kill him with her tits. i'm really confused here

20:16 i think that would be fun. be shoot through a tube across several miles. kick ass

21:47 i like smarmy bond, asshole bond is of course just an asshole

22:20 oh look guys it's the title of the film

22:54 A: new moneypenny hooray, B: female assassin that used teddy bear explosives?

23:39 are they trying to do the whole thing where money penny takes off her classes she's hot but with them on she's ugly. because either way i'm good to go here

25:02 this is a really weird security system. just have a regular security force instead of everyone is hiding. you're in england for godsakes.

26:12 yeah where's you shitty security now? this guy just had to dress up like a milkman to get in

27:25 "how do you say 'put away'" ummm i'm pretty sure you guys use the same term and those are really simple words so right now i'm questioning your intelligence

28:37 don't you just hate it when you get caught stuffing a man in a man sized fridge.

29:40 if movies have taught me anything it's that never trust an unknown voice over a walkie talkie telling you exit a building because of a gas leak.

30:16 milk grenades. the most dangerous of them all

31:04 "how dare you put your clothes on my perch. it's just rude" it's the parrot talking by the way

32:22 still the classic M office. the broccoli plays it old school

34:15 there are other people in the room. aren't you guys worried about gassing them? you've gotten sloppy Q

35:24 hooray moneypenny isn't just a secretary she's actually an intelligence officer. about fucking time she got to do something

36:55 and this is the story of how james bond moved uncomfortable close to other people on the bus

37:55 PROFESSOR! (you may know him better as gimli from lotr however I know him from sliders)

38:52 so there's a guy pissing there. i guess we'll ignore him then

39:10 "this isn't a cello at all!"

40:15 that was a really awkward silent moment there. i have nothing clever too say

42:00 she's a little too excited about this

43:15 the timing here would have to be incredible.

43:50 smash cut to getting the cello, classic

44:19 "several hours later"

45;23 new austin martin is new. i feel like i've seen this before, perhaps, maybe, i don't know

46:30 i really feel for these henchmen right now. "WHO PUTS ROCKETS IN THEIR CAR! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! IT'S NOT FAIR!"

47:38 this chase is pretty kick ass

48:25 so was like a russian police convention nearby because these guys are coming out of no where right now

49:39 that's not how you use a cello at all! you're just making shit up now aren't you bond

50:08 because using it as a rudder in the snow wasn't already damaging it

51:12 PROFESSOR!

51:35 so not creepy then?

52:33 again awesome models.

53:30 "but professor we only have 40 minutes until the next slide"

55:27 don't be a liar bond. no one like a liar

56:30 A SECOND BEDROOM!! who are you and what have you done with bond?

57:19 that dude totally just belly flopped it

58:15 where is his dick? there is no way he's not tucking

59:55 lady that's not clapping that's seal imitating which is illegal in several country's

1:01:26 this guy didn't need much convince. hell he's willing to throw away his penshion

1:01:51 also she's pretty cozy up to bond for being with another man

1:02:53 balloon assassin's are the worst

1:03:30 bond stop being a liar. you didn't arrange jack shit

1:04:12 DON'T MAKE THE ELEPHANT WATCH! BE HUMANE!

1:06:03 ok that sucks. that is a horrible way to go

1:06:58 dramatic turn is dramatic

1:07:30 now you want to fucking stay. first it's orgi this orgi that and now you don't want to fucking go. goddmanit

1:09:01 professor you can't fall in love we have to slide in two days!

1:10:00 i'm pretty sure this is the first time we've seen bond use a silencer on the ppk

1:11:28 classic bond. abusing women for his own purposes

1:12:30 bond is a cold hearted bastard. i'm fucking eating this up.

1:13:57 you're such an asshole bond

1:14:17 also bourne before bourne. SUCK IT!

1:15:21 thank god professor we almost thought we lost you. quick we slide in 33 seconds!

1:16:23 FELIX!! FUCK YEAH! we haven't seen you in a while

1:17:13 yes you told us, can you stop dancing now, please

1:18:30 "well as seeing as you drink like 20 of these a day it's hard to forget"

1:19:22 you were clearly set up to die. i don't understand why she doesn't believe bond

1:19:42 and down he goes

1:20:14 bitch you be stupid. you just believe what ever anyone tells you don't you.

1:21:24 for some reason i don't believe hearts keep beating ONCE YOU TAKE THEM OUT OF A PERSON!

1:22:20 no bond you've been pretty much spot on. she's made all the major mistakes here

1:25:56 he really likes his job. it's like his own little fish tank

1:26:49 "dude, you really need to make up your mind, up, down, i'm getting motion sick here"

1:28:08 he just gave the jailer the bird. awesome!

1:29;43 bond's random vehicle of choice today is stair car. that's right stair car

1:31:06 ah pre 9-11 you were so cute. no body in their right mind would film this today and make them the good guys

1:33:04 in the room out of the room. jesus the people in this film can't make up their mind

1:33:53 everyone else in this film has no idea what they are saying. their just laughing for no reason. it kind of happens when your high as a fucking kite

1:35:55 this women is really clingy

1:37:17 at least bond isn't riding a camel

1:39:58 yeah some high tech explosives and a timer to match, in the middle of the desert. sure no problem i keep them up my ass just in case

1:41:33 bond you're so fucking lucky. no one saw in the back, really?

1:42:02 "did she just run off with an ak" "yup" "with plans to fight them all" "yup" "with no back up" "yup" "is she stupid" "yup"

1:44:41 so we've got a timer folks. let see if the filmmakers even try to match in real time

1:45:18 i don't think a single bullet would destroy the plane. no, no, i can guarentee that a single bullet will not destroy the plane

1:46:16 yeah pre 9-11 was awesome. no one really gave a shit

1:46:57 seriously bitch if you even think of joining that fight i will hate you forever

1:48:06 dude you could have just told him what to do there was no reason to pull him out

1:48:26 bitch i told you not to get involved

1:50:25 again i don't think a couple of bullets will make the plane blow up. they're a little more durable than you think

1:51:24 don't look scarred now. you're the one that got on the plane for no reason

1:53:04 what part of straight and level do you not understand. and now you're just pulling levers for no reason

1:54:40 hooray free opium for everone

1:54:55 so has anyone gotten their stop watches out becuase by my time we're over by two minutes at least

1:56:41 that is a big moutain. you just not see that

1:58:05 lucky bond is lucky

1:58:47 "well do you see that light that's blinking" "yeah" "and do you see it labeled as fuel warning" "yeah" "IT MEANS WE ARE OUT OF FUCKING FUEL!"\

2:01:22 oh right we still have another villain to kill

2:02:10 "and that was before lunch"

2:03:07 of all the people bond should know NOT to shoot at the shield

2:04:22 PROFESSOR you're just in time for the slide!

2:05:31 i'm not musician but i'm pretty sure a bullet hole would have some great effect of the output of the instrument. welcome to my pretentious corner of the day

2:06:43 sweet the russian general. this dude has been around forever. kick ass

2:07:19 what is this ? the films greatest hits section. also afghan rebels fully armed on british soil. yeah that totally happens

and we're done. tomorrow i shall return same bond time same bond channel

"A View to a Kill" Live Blog!

It's Christopher Walken time!! You can follow live on Word press the rest will be posted on this page later.

:47 THEY'RE RUSSIAN!! i can tell because they speak russian in russia

2:03 I love how agile bond is in his later years

3:12 bond quickly run away from the movie screen! it might catch up to you while standing still

3:39 snowboarding + surfer music = fuck you movie

4:38 they have all the guns in the world. all bond needs is an amazingly accurate flare gun

5:26 oh look it's bond granddaughter! she wants a spy too

6:02 bond! that's you're granddaughter! stop that!

6:23 ok that's kind of hot i will say that. the boobs unfold a little to reveal the logo, kind of smart

7:00 of course the rest of this is shit. and the music is horrendous. anyone who like duran duran should be shot

7:47 AHHHHHHH! 80'S HAIR! IT WILL KILL US ALL!

9:08 seriously mpaa where the fuck where you?

10:29 it's the '80's so robots. deal with it

11:25 i don't 'modern toasters' have microchips in them even today

11:47 so how many 00's have died so far 3, 9 are there any others?

12:19 "so there's no way he's the villain. his name is Zorin for gods sake!"

13:22 if i was a woman i would were that at all times.

14:46 so is this like a school outing for Q and MoneyPenny. they're not really helping and are kind of just enjoying the day

15:29 i guess we're in paris now

16:44 guys the creepy whistling and the random butterfly puppets connected to the guys dressed in all black is not helping the super creepy vibe running through this place

18:42 god ninja's suck in the bond franchise

18:56 I REGRET NOTHING!

20:10 ok bond you're just showing off now. everyone already knows your awesome at everything you don't have to rub it in our noses.

22:04 and when he means squeeze him in he actually means up his ass.

22:42 ummmm is this guy aware that the camera's are on because he is not trying

24:19 what makes her hair do that! some kind of alien gel that you have to get from some star trek species?

25:55 at this point i'm getting tired of the names of women in this series. it's just boring now

26:16 and when he means early riser he's actually talking about his boner

28:52 i'm seeing christopher walken but i'm not hearing him. this is upsetting

29:48 god someone shoot her hair and put it out of it's misery

31:36 goddamnit walken fucking talk to me! whisper in my ear with your beautiful voice

32:20 i respect a man that's rocks a monocle

33:11 ACTIVATE WALKEN MODE!

33:50 he really likes the saddle, it's when he's the happiest

34:11 "...which means i'm actually a villain"

34:52 are they really slowing down the duran duran song into a love song? where's my gun

35:30 zorin and this evil chick are really knew to the villain game aren't they. they've practically told bond that they are up to no good.

36:11 and isn't this suppose to be about microchips and not horse racing

38:37 yeah microchips i should have just waited

39:30 i wonder were the upcoming fight is going to take place?

40:48 rape face

40:58 walken fu!!

41:50 she has to devour men's souls to feed the hair

42:59 OH GOD TURN IT OFF!

43:42 NUDITY CUT!

43:52 bond don't do it. it's only to feed the hair!

45:15 walken is so smart. he made bond look in that direction

45:33 wait wait.... did zorin just cum his pants!!

46:54 the hair doesn't believe you

47:52 evidently BP is spondering A View to a Kill this week. nice to know.

48:56 that horse is like bond's cock. just bucking around wildly not caring what it hits.

49:54 obvious cheating is obvious

50:06 what is this? the horse version of rollarball?!

51:18 "you're not sir godfrey at all!"

52:00 i could hear walken say "you amuse me mr. bond" all day long

52:49 of course he makes the classic mistake of not just SHOOTING BOND IN THE FUCKING FACE!

53:16 I mean come on the windows are eve open.

53:31 at least they were open

53:50 i enjoy macguyver bond. he's always the best.

55:20 he'd still be a rich asshole

56:22 the nondiscriminate mumbling says yes

56:56 zorin is going all goldfinger on these assholes.

58:00 her hair is going to eat him. this hair really doesn't go hungry

58:23 "did that body just fall out of zorin's balloon?" "yeah i think it did"

58:56 hey look it's the name of the movie.

1:00:03 this guy keeps his entire office inside his shirt

1:01:56 why even mention that's it's heavily guarded if you already know you're going there

1:02:16 bummer no pigeon hat scuba disguise

1:04:22 when bond isn't even trying he fucks up everyone's plans.

1:06:17 lol i love watching walken think in this film. he just pauses looks back and forth and then makes a decision. classic

1:07:24 also starring her tits

1:08:07 i think this is a world land speed record for bond getting into bed with someone

1:09:45 goddamnit bond you're old. stop fucking these women. it's unfair

1:10:39 isn't he a russian general? why is he in the feild

1:14:27 i've been bored with this film. nothing of note has happened in almost five minutes now

1:15:22 why is bond hiding his identity. did he not take his medication today or is that alzhiemer's finally kicking in

1:16:37 old men fighting. yes it's boring as it sounds.

1:18:08 and he's a master cook. fuck you bond fuck you

1:20:12 bond don't, just stop, i've seen that look before, do NOT SLEEP WITH HER

1:20:37 so we're slow playing the duran duran song again. thanks movie thanks

1:21:20 good man bond good man. keep it in your pants

1:21:56 if she's broke where is this tech coming from

1:23:11 "and i'm sure they didn't deactivate it"

1:24:58 oh look another sneaking into an office scene

1:25:37 LOLOLOLOLOL

1:26:58 But in case of emergencies always use the stairs

1:28:06 yeah they turned off the power bond you can stop trying the buttons

1:29:00 there are a lot of things in this building that are incapable of burning and yet this is happening

1:31:33 seriously the screeching needs to stop

1:32;23 hero duran duran now! awesome

1:33:35 so he magically knew that was bond's gun?

1:34:45 and she instantly believes him. fucking idiot

1:36:37 really was that even necassary?

1:37:54 this has suddenly turned into Speed 3: Bond Edition

1:39:55 ROCKET PUNCH! it's bond quarter circle attack

1:44:13 i want to be the company that builds all these models for super villains. looks like fun

1:45:04 YOU DON'T DIG UNDER A LAKE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID!

1:45:35 DOUBLE EARTHQUAKE! WHAT DOES IT MEAN! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

1:46:00 also didn't gene hackman do this in superman 1

1:46:50 walken will have none of this bullshit

1:48:13 and now we are in the goonies

1:48;45 christopher walken as chunk from goonies. GO!

1:50:03 he mr walken why are you exploding the bomb while still int eh cave?

1:51:00 "Christopher Walken open fired on some miner's today..."

1:52:09 i don't think anyone win's in this situation. you either drown, get shot, or electricuted

1:54:04 oh so that's where the blimp is

1:55:18 so she's a good guy now. well that was easy

1:57:16 go wesley snipes go!

1:58:38 where did they get the mine cart from acme!?

1:59:03 bye wesley snipes we loved you

2:00:37 so what is zorin's plan? just hang around in the blimp until everyone forgets he a bad guy

2:03:48 there has never been a scarier villain. walken with a fire axe.

2:05:33 at this point just cut your loses and go home

2:07:37 so Q is just an old man perv. nice. and bond is fucking women that are a quarter his age. even better. fuck you bond fuck you

2:08:14 i'm glad this is moore last film.