Saturday, January 22, 2011

"Live and Let Die" Live Blog!

Ok evidently Tumblr is just going to delete my page and i have to start over. It's the first of the Roger Moore films and most likely one of his best. I'm not a big fan of Moore or many of the films he made but it's always better than old connery or that asshat George Lazenby.

:21 hooray the main actor is actually in the gun barrel shot.

:48 it's never a good sign when watching an action film when you start off with a boring meeting in the untied nations

1:58 I know this film was a big deal for a lot of black actors at the time but i still feel the film is a little racist

2:50 that afro is going to come to life and devour the world like katamari damacy. i swear to go

4:10 Snakes! why does it have to be snakes.

4:48 i know some bond fans like this song but i don't like it. it's like four different songs smashed together.

5:50 i also think this is one of the weaker opening sequences with the expection of a few moments

7:26 and this is how you should introduce a new bond. balls deep in a random french chick

8:30 and so begins the slapstick comedy of Roger Moore

9:30 bond makes a mean cup of coffee

11:00 M is so angry. i wouldn't be surprised if he actually shot bond once.

12:15 Bond seriously. she was about to leave and so were you. but you still bang her. jesus christ

12:45 if someone is traveling quickly isn't it safe to assume he has purpose. maybe i should be a tarot reader

13:52 Felix i love you. i want your man babies.

14:37 now that's how you assassinate some one. that one fat dude was more ninja like than all the hundred ninjas in you only live twice.

15:35 i will say this about live and let die. it has some great action

16:18 i like how bond is wearing driving gloves. he's so classy

17:10 i never realized that was yaphet kotto until now. he's pretty badass. i should watch more of his films.

18:04 there are just some places were an uptight english gentleman has to feel out of place.

19:02 at least the music isn't super '70's offensive.

20:52 i've always been of the idea that bond's theme should be used when he's actually doing something and not riding in the back of a taxi. i don't find that very suspensful

22:07 what is this a pimp convention?

22:37 bond doesn't even hesitate. he just walks right in and starts ordering drinks. doesn't give a fuck. i wish i had that kind of confidence.

23:18 it wouldn't be a bond film with out a hidden/trap door.

24:06 solitare is "murder everyone in the room" hot

24:40 you see this was before dr. claw had his own operation. early in his career he was a voodoo henchmen

26:17 i will say roger moore is pretty good at the quiping.

26:45 what did they do stumble upon the omega man set

27;56 sorry i cant respect a villain who calls himself Mr. Big

28:44 dude lay off the drugs a little big. you'll hurt yourself.

29:58 ok that's terrifying!

31:12 i really hope this the last bug checking seen i'll ever have to see

32:35 i never understood the use of animals as a why to murder people. it seems ineffecient

33:04 also bond really likes baths

34:43 and bond leaves the snake. meh who cares.

35:39 no one is impressed bond. you identified a gun. here's a cookie

36:33 she's such a wimp. for a cia agent she's really stupid

37:28 she's just screaming to hear herself make noise now

39:30 why is rosie wearing a afro wig. she has hair. she looks fine. why the obesession with the afro

40:48 Quarrel Jr.? what? bond got his father killed. why is he helping bond?

41:44 "no one dares go up there" i wonder were bond is going to go

42:14 i don't think tarot is that accurate.

43:14 rosie is such a poor liar. who gave her this job. she's obviously incompetant

44:04 and bond fucks her anyway

44:49 i don't think anyone react to voodoo like that. ....and away she goes

46:17 sick voodoo burn

47:14 who makes an outfit that's bolted to the wall?

48:30 bond you're such a dick. the dude was just hanging out enjoying the view and you had to come around out of fucking no where and kick him off the cliff. asshole

50:15 she's acting as if they have to have sex. what a chump

50:53 anything to get laid huh bond. that was unnecassary

51:13 neither of them seemed to have enjoyed that. their not even touching. she must have never seen a dick before and freaked out.

52:40 bond's face here is great. "i'm dealing with a bunch of idiots"

54:12 pants over the belly button. i never got that.

55:44 that's not creepy at all. and the flute walkie talkie is a little too much

57:50 i love how dead pan kotto is. it makes him so much more sinister

58:57 really bond? you couldn't find some transport that was a little better than a double fucking decker bus

1:00:44 i see a mythbuster episode here. i don't think that's possible.

1:01:13 GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

1:02:12 and when she means one of these she means any soft service in which she can spread her legs into the air

1:03:15 if i were bond i would stop taking taxi's all together.

1:03:40 this guy his higher than everast

1:04:40 so wait is she with bond or against him?

1:05:14 lol old lady taking flying lessons and gets cuaght up in bond chase. ....no wait that's not funny. fuck you movie

1:05:57 this isn't bumper airplanes guys

1:06:55 what we didn't see there is her vomiting all over bond's face.

1:09:45 i think this is the only time the song is repeated with in the film. kind of weird

1:10:17 more trap doors. they really met their quota here

1:11:56 her tits are literaly trying to crawl out of her dress

1:12:40 that's one thing i never understood why he disguised himself as mr. big it seems convoluted

1:14:10 not since goldfinger have we gotten a plot were the world isn't be ransomed by the villain. they have more realistic goals.

1:14:57 "Butter Hook" that's actually funny

1:15:58 i don't think tarot works like this. not to mention all the pressure she's under right now. hell i couldn't tie my shoes properly in this situation

1:17:00 i should have kept track of how many times bond has been knocked out. i'm surprised he isn't swimming in the kiddie pool now

1:18:36 at least he played it cool when he realized she lost her powers.

1:18:54 oops too late. overreaction time

1:19:32 why won't anyone just shoot bond in the head. i know this has been a major critical issue of the franchise since it's inception (brammmmmm) but it's starting to get on my nerves.

1:20:40 also they're showing bond their entire operation. i wonder whats going to happen when bond escapes this useless trap

1:23:17 honestly this would be a very scary situation

1:24:53 DANGER BOND!

1:27:00 this is perhaps one of the best boat chases you'll ever see.

1:27:35 and straight out of the dukes of hazzard comes this asshole.

1:28:33 this feels like a racist cliche trying to eat another racist cliche.

1:30:11 What is going on right now? it suddenly turned into a benny hill episode by way of dukes of hazzard

1:32:06 what does have in his mouth. golfballs.

1:32:25 wow these guys organize fast!

1:33:20 anyone that names their son Billy Bob should be sent to a siberian prison and then have their limbs ripped off by horses

1:36:40 someone watched Blue Brothers.

1:37:20 alright i take back what i said. it's not one of the best boat chases but it is on the good side. it's just been going on for way to long

1:40"31 poll humping. it's a new sport for men. you may not want to watch.

1:42:09 why do these guys hate those polls so much. this film is pollist

1:43:10 always with the snakes

1:44:02 "so where am i again?"

1:44:53 "all hail the holy top hat!"

1:46:04 seriously guys stop rushing him. he has a fucking gun]

1:47:30 well that was anti climatic. fucking text book

1:48:13 i'm just glad it's not a huge battle. just bond saving the girl and trying to escape.

1:49:00 he is quickly becoming one of my favorite villains. he's non chalant and really sinister

1:51:12 a good smash cut is something i always appreciate

1:52:37 go go gadget magnet watch

1:53:36 death by shark always a classic. he's playing it old school

1:53:45 OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T EVEN SET THAT ONE UP!

1:54:55 ....um.....that was......um.......i don't..........what........i can't.........that was horrifying

1:57:38 this guy really enjoys his job. the only problem here is that he doesn't have a boss. he literally blew up.

1:58:27 this is the bad thing about this kind of fake out. it doesn't really do anything but give us one more fight

1:59:17 his one weakness. wire cutters

2:00:00 ok that was kind of cool

Well that's it. I enjoyed that more than i thought. I'm taking the day off tomorrow but monday will be the man with the g

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