Saturday, January 29, 2011

"Octopussy" Live Blog!

So here it is, the worst named Bond film in the entire franchises history. I don't think I have ever made it through this film. I always fall asleep and I don't know whether that's my fault or the films. This time I will stay awake though and endure.

1:00 is that suppose to be Castro?

1:16 also what kind of horse exhibition is at a air force base with all THE LOUD JETS.

2:47 ah the classic judo chop never believable

4:03 why the hell were they wearing parachutes on the ground? fear of height i guess

5:11 is that the jet in your trailer or are you just happy to see me?

6:20 all this is missing is wile e coyote actually riding the rocket

6:37 that's bad ass though, you can't argue that

7:10 really he used up all the fuel? i bet Q didn't fill it up on purpose just to be a dick

8:08 WOMAN ARE NOT FOR TOSSING!

8:45 bad song + bad opening sequence = boring

9:45 AGAIN WOMEN ARE NOT FOR TOSSING!!

10:49 sweet! clown death. that always get's people in a better mood

11:52 wow that guy is a fast runner

12:25 oh there's two of them. twins that throw knives. how symetrical of them

13:27 it's a double decker bus so we must be in london

13:50 moneypenny and bond should retire together

14:40 one day i want bond to walk in and not know what the fuck he's just been handed.

16:13 i really enjoy the different conference rooms the bond franchise has been able to poop out over the years.

16;50 ah the new russian bad guy. such assholes. at least the last russian bad guy was getting laid all the time

18:16 why is he walking like that? is he a robot?

19:13 and he pouts in a corner. "now go sit in the corner young man"

21:20 i have never seen an actual thrilling auction scene. someone has to be able to do it?

22:34 of course bond bids with no fucking money

22:55 this is bond at his best. he's just being a asshole in the most badass way

24:18 why is everyone pissed that bond bid on the egg. he fucking lost. no fucking harm

26:21 so the bond song exists in the bond universe??

26:41 bond could you at least try to blend in instead of wearing a bright colored clean suit

27:24 i like bond's contact here. he's just a dude hanging out

28:00 oh look it's another hot chick convention!

28:40 fuck i have to poop. i'll be back

29:30 backgammon really?

31:52 i am really bored with this scene. i know he's cheating. i know bond knows he's cheating. and i know bond is going to win

33:07 why are you threatening him? you just got caught cheating

33:31 great another henchmen that likes to crush things. we don't have a bunch of those already

35:10 fucking ninjas in training man. they haven't taken the sublty class yet

36:00 ummmmmmmm.....no

36:17 what kind of gun is tat. elmor fund wouldn't be caught dead with a gun like that

37:02 "hey can we shove some more indian cliches into this. that would be great"

37:49 why are they quipping so hard in this scene. this is life and death seriously stop it

38:57 and all of Q branch is out there for some reason. kind of a waste of resources

41:00 a little behind the times bond. dick tracy had one of those years ago

41:17 looks like bond is auditioning for MTV's camera crew

42:27 to bad she'll try to kill you as well.

43:17 i really don't buy her as a scrapbooker. i don't know i guess it's just intuition

43:50 again he is way to old for her. it's like she's fucking her father's older brother

44:42 ugh i can only take so much of this

44:53 thank god Mr. Mckillinson is here

46:40 this feels very slave laborish to me

47:35 i'm beginning to realize why i always fall asleep in this film. the pace is glacial

49:47 Q over the years has gotten madder and madder at point. he makes all his gadgets super annoying now.

51:38 another unnecasarily long dining table.

52:27 you guys are discussing truth serums and yet bond is still eating the food

53:00 was the food joke really necassary

53:44 and bond makes his escape in minutes. nice try guys

56:22 that's right folks three full minutes of bond just sneaking around not getting anything accomplished

56:44 in retrospect that last post was dickish

58:48 ah communists you just like to smash things

59:00 oh look it's the body closet

1:00:47 "never mind the live man in the body. i'm still dead"

1:01:30 really you guys dumb the body right outside. that seems unhealthy

1:01:51 really they're just going t hunt him dangerous game style? at least that's a step above most bond villains

1:03:20 and then an elephant steps on his back crushing him. end of movie

1:04:33 ummmmmmm....no

1:05:05 seriously are we trying to throw every animal that we can at bond right now. even in india this is kind of crazy

1:06:25 so no one is going to point out the stupid name that is ocopussy

1:06:50 fuck you movie fuck you

1:07:04 hot girl convention '83

1:08:10 "but your dead. i saw scaramanga shoot you"

1:09:50 that chick must have been from the dr suess section of the hot girl convention

1:10:40 someone is jealous

1:10"50 that's a horrible nickname. and from your father? creepy

1:12:26 so saw yo-yo. nobody told my jigsaw was in this film

1:12:47 hi Q i guess you're fishing then for no reason

1:13:13 this chich really likes octopus's

1:14:42 what exactly is she proposing here.

1:14:56 and now she's pissed. fucking bi-polar

1:15:35 bond the tongue doesnt' belong in her esophagus

1:15:54 and bond solves the situation with sex. asshole

1:16:43 fuck man. he was cool.

1:18:12 this is a really ineffective tool. he always has to be above them to use it. single floor building must be his bane

1:19:13 the octopus is just chillin

1:19:43 LOL THE OCTOPUS IS HUMPING THAT DUDES FACE

1:20:58 i'm actually sad here i really did like that dude

1:22:28 JESUS CHRIST! i completely understand why people are afraid of clowns

1:25:05 i guess i'm not a circus fan. wrap it around some story and i'm in but just the acts in themselves don't impress me

1:26;48 so they want the jewels to invade west germany??

1:30:48 so these knife throwing twins just wanted to be evil one day i guess. i wish i got more henchmen backstory's

1:32:48 and this is why everyone knows who bond is. he just fucking tells everyone

1:34:33 wow this is the first time i think i've ever seen bond ppk run out of bullets

1:36:38 GET OUT OF THE WATER! IT'S RAINING CARS!

1:38:04 I do like the fact that they are showing that not all communists are not evil assholes

1:40:07 at no point in time should james bond be in a gorilla suit. fuck you movie fuck you

1:41:35 finally a "top of train" fight. this is bonds first

1:43:40 dude stop swinging. stabbing motions. stabbing motions

1:45:17 dude if your that good at throwing knives just put on in the back of his skull. at this point i don't know whether bond is lucky or he goes up against the most incompetant poeple

1:46:45 wow assholes. i wish bond had a gun. he could just shoot them there and then. no one would ever know

1:48:13 sometimes a super spy just can't get a break

1:48:26 well that's what you get for leaving your keys in the car bitch

1:50:33 americans are so easily amused!

1:52:46 clown bond. that's just what we fucking need

1:54:25 fucking clowns always in the way of a nuclear deactivation

1:55:36 pussy bitch is pissed. she's going to fuck up some fools

1:56:54 GOGO GYPSY GIRL ARMY!

1:57:34 it was a sad day for men with boners. we will never forget

1:58:58 "i sense disturbance in the force"

1:59:45 i wonder if that's james bond in the gaint ass british flag hot air balloon

2:00:10 this has to be the lamest fight ever. fucking circus gyspy women assassins

2:01:12 fucking cool!!

2:02:23 Q is pimp!

2:03:25 wow this is some great stunt work here

2:04:40 and he still does it? what is this guy getting paid!? holy fuck

2:05:26 no seriously this is perhaps some of the best stunt work i have ever seen outside of some martial arts films

2:07:23 yeah i was about to say when did bond hurt himself?

Well that's it. bad movie but great stunt work

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