"Moonraker" Live Blog!

Hover Gondola!

Live Blog Starts at 2.

:44 oh look that one airplane is giving the other a piggy back ride

1:21 so these guys were just hiding in the military grade shuttle craft. someone live in pre 9-11

2:13 listening to one side conversations are fun

2:50 can't a guy make out with a girl and not get a gun to the face

3:41 oh looks it's jaws. i guess he's in this films as well then

4:07 i will say this about the moore years. they knew when to use the bond theme

5:05 it's a bird, no it's a plan, no it's a eight foot man with metal teeth that kills people by biting them

5:38 jesus jaws is going to live through this. at this point he's immortal

6:40 it's a shirley bassey theme but it's moonraker which makes me sad. a shirly bassey rendition of goldeneye i would kill for

7:21 is she suppose to be a space ship?

8:41 besides being a spaceship what the fuck does moonraker mean. they put it in the song it must mean something else. this being bond it's probable a disguised sex position

10:00 "most secret"? what's wrong with "top secret" i guess "some" people are allowed to know this

12:00 so bond goes straight to the bad guy. i guess i missed something

12:33 oh right he makes the moonraker shuttles.

13:10 why not just live in france?

14:23 my question is how many super billionaires live in this world? and once bond destroys their estates what happens after that?

15:20 bond is the worst spy ever. everyone knows his name his job and reputation

16:19 i've never heard someone say cucumber sandwich in such an evil way

17:03 dr. goodhead? that's not a blowjob joke is it?

18:07 don't act fucking surprised Bond! you're not helping things.

19:05 stop it national geographic. i don't watch bond for education i watch it for sexism and stupid action

19:58 if 20'gs can kill you then why allow the machine to go that fast

20:48 "you're mother is stripping infront of the entire training crew next door" "i better go"

21:51 evidently bond is epileptic

22:51 thanks Q for giving bond the one gadget he needs to solve this particular problem only five fucking minutes ago

23:53 see bond was suspicious before but now the villain played his hand and bond knows he's the villain. stupid fucking bond villains.

25:28 lady at least have sex with him first and then give him the info. he's just getting a free fuck now

26:51 look lady you're not trying very had to stop him so who's really at fault here

27:37 he was just looking at her boob again.

28:05 at least the camera is easily identifyable as the one that has all the super secret picture on it.

28:53 what does this guy do? just hide around corners all the time

29:30 it was a sad day for birds everywhere. we will never forgot the atrocities of this day

31:32 this guy seems really new at this whole villain thing. all his attempts to kill bond have either been half assed or incompetent

33:00 and when he means terminating employement he actually means get eaten by dogs.

33:48 HOVER GONDOLA!! I SEE YOU THERE

34:32 never put a james bond in a glass shop

36:35 bond you're suppose to put some distant between yourself and the person your following

37:27 "...don't bother, i'm a lesbian" Bond's true nemesis

38:33 oh look christopher lee is back

38:49 FUCK YOU HOVER GONDOLA! i will take a lot of shit but this is too much

39:54 does venice really have stop lights?

40:22 fucking hover gondola

40:57 did that pegion just do a double take. fuck you movie fuck you

42:11 is it sad that i instantly think that scientist is german by just how he looks

42:33 ok when did close encounters come out. they had better not be stealing that.

44:14 now drink it and see what it does!!

45:09 well maybe you guys should have been haz mat suits or gas masks or something. for all i care you guys killed yourselves

46:00 nice job announcing when you are going to attack dumbass

47:30 there have been a lot of bad henchmen in the bond series so far but this guy takes the cake

48:30 i don't think this guy even knows how to fight. he's just yelling and striking out randomly

49:43 ok something came up and i have to go. I'll finish this later today

50:19 where are all these gadgets coming from? she's worse than Q

51:06 there is nothing standard about any of this stuff

52:16 this man must have a boner twenty four seven. there is just no way one man can have this much sex and still be standing

53:49 que price is right failure song here

56:20 this is the one thing i won't miss. the useless travel shots that show bond getting off planes, checking into motels, and just driving around

58:33 and bond is still wearing a tux in this. dude just relaxe.

59:56 the most terrifying image put to film.

1;00:36 it is time to fucking leave.

1:00:50 don't walk up to him!

1:01:25 ummmmm you can escape now he's not going to hurt you

1:02:24 "i guess i will party, i really wanted to kill bond but partying is the next best thing, if you insist"

1:03:35 when does rio stop partying is the question? these people have been going for a day straight

1:05:40 JAWS GOD AMONG MEN, HE BENDS METAL TO HIS WILL

1:07:55 hooray for awkaward fights that aren't suspensful

1:09:30 and jaws brushes it off like nothing. such a cool dude. if his penis wouldn't impale me i would have his man babies.

1:10:00 oh look, jaws in love! let my barf

1:11:19 her distraction methods are second too none, "just keep staring, just keep staring"

1:12:32 making the cast of jackass proud

1:14:35 i feel like the monks here should be objecting to some of this

1:15:40 and now bond is a herbologist.

1:16:45 INITIATE RANDOM ACTION SEQUENCE.

1:17:32 This is a very sad day for the dummy race. this is a day that will live in infamy

1:18:38 is this a commercial for carlson boats. must be.

1:21:35 and so bond just followers her into a death trap

1:21:53: "what's that dick? yeah i'll totally keep following her in hopes to have sex with her."

1:22:46 we're getting really low on the evil animal here.

1:24:11 in any context that was a bad joke

1:25:27 this guy isn't a villian he's a cult leader

1:27:01 that's a really good question with a really answer

1:28:16 this is the worst conference room ever.

1:29:44 they would still die

1:31:21 way to be alert guys you just allowed a woman and an aging man to knock you out

1:32:55 is no one else monitoring the sky's right now? wouldn't someone notice how many shuttles had just launched

1:34:30 guys just wait until we get to the station ok there is no reason to start now.

1:35:18 you're in antigravity it doesn't make you move slower bond

1:36:33 there had to be some initial investers for this project

1:37:58 this guy is never been in space before he's just flaying around

1:39:11 wait how did she get on board?

1:40:15 this guy needs to work on his public speaking skills

1:41:43 this is the ministry of fucking goofy walking

1:42:39 way to go bond you get a gold star

1:43:14 MEANWHILE ON EARTH!!

1:43:20 "so guys about this thing that just showed up on our radars."

1:44:24 "i found you. you're turn to play hide and seek"

1:45:03 you were just saying letters. that means nothing

1:46:00 just shoot bond. it's all you gotta dude

1:47:12 "...expect for you bond, i have no idea how to kill you. i have this gun but that doesn't make sense."

1:49:21 if one button could cause that much damage why can it be so easily accessed

1:50"29 i like how they have a shuttle that was prepared to be a troop carrier

1:50:56 LAZER BATTLE!!!

1:53:06 These are some weak ass laser guns.

1:54:03 why does that thing have 7 barrels.

1:54:23 and bond just airlocks a dude. harsh

1:55:00 IT'S ALIVE

1:56:25 everyone is wearing space suits but no one is wearing helmets.

1:56:57 and they leave jaws to die in space. assholes

1:57:58 you are about to die why are you smiling and waving goodbye like you're going on vacation

1:59:58 these actually seems really easy they are in SPACE

2:00"56 she seems a little too calm

2:01:36 stay on target, stay on target

2:03:08 but he's bond why would you do that

2:03:20 lol sex