Here it is the grandfather of Bond films. The film that truly started it all, it refined the formula and put Bond on the social sub conscience forever. I’m moving up the schedule though to 7:30 since I have to work in the morning.
00:42 “hey steve you hear anything.” “nope do you” “nope is that james bond?” “maybe” “oh well”
1:15 why a duck? why anything? you were already underwater
1:57 it’s this sequence that really identifies bond as a superspy. blowing shit up and sneaking around.
2:37 and the hidden tux helps
3:37 ok that’s three movies naked woman are just waiting in bond’s room. does he buy them in bulk?
4:31 these floors make it sound like godzilla is in a fist fight
4:57 that is one thing that is missing from connery’s bond. he’d rather quip than actually feel remorse that is why Craig’s bond feels so fresh
5:38 I genuiely like the theme song and the projections on the female bodies actually work here
6:31 the only problem is that the images being projected actually spoil the film
7:25 does that mean goldfinger has to have a bar of gold every time he gets off. or is he actually married to gold.that would be an interesting marraige liscense.
8:39 “hey mom. MOM! watch me dive. WATCH ME!”
9:18 connery has the hairest legs in the universe. he’s the male version of rapunzel.
10:33 makes me sad they replaced the actor who plays felix
11:03 goldfinger looks constibapated not by the pool man
12:08 i love that bond’s first instinct is too immediately fuck with goldfinger. ontop of that is bond so charismatic that when entering woman’s hotel rooms they immediately don’t mind him being there
13:32 these are some amazing binoclars. they can see anywhere!
14:20 and bond gets laid. not even fifteen minutes in and even less time with the girl. he’s a goddamn superhero!
15:25 “and felix remember, you’re the man now dog!”
16:04 Bond look out! it’s an evil floating hand!
18:18 it’s nice to see Bond pissed off. of course it’s over a girl that he only new for five minutes but at least he’s human
18:50 do all the double O agents just get hand me down assignments?
20:27 “we also know when each of our bank presidents take a piss. irralvent but a bloody good time”
22:10 i like to think that all meetings in britian take place in giant halls at huge tables and everyone wears suits.
23:09 so begins the legacy of the Q seens. the dynamic between gadget maker and gadget user is always fun to watch
24:07 i like how the radar is just two guys rolling a map across the view screen
24:52 “and since i know you so well bond here is the condom dispenser”
26:10 if he’s not a good caddy why keep using him? the lovely conversation?
28:27 marco…..polo…….marco……
28:57 “ah, ah” what language is this?
29:32 Bond just keeps fucking with him. I would want to cut off his balls with a laser too.
31:17 Three movies. Three fucking movies and Bond has been nothing but a dick to everyone he meets. I’m beginning to think on why I even like him.
32:35 who thought up deadly boomerang hat? I want to shake his hand
33:15 see the crushing of an object is a metaphor for his damage phyic it’s actually sad really
35:28 bond sees one chick and completely loses focus.
36:20 hey kids play on the cliff it’s not dangerous. I’m sure you’re bounce right back up.
37:40 Dude why would you do that to someone’s car? what did they do to you
38:13 A DEFECT! defect’s don’t rip the metal off of your car. one of the people in this scene is dangerously stupid
39:38 Q so put that sound effect on the radar just to drive Bond crazy
40:42 i guess bond forgot his hiking gear
41:02 and then he suddenly has sneaking gear. bond is used to hiding thing sin his ass
41:40 right now he’s telling his body the Aristocrats
42:13 the engine in that car must be insane in order to carry that weight
42:35 Operation Grand Slam, lol. when ever i have a project it’s going to be called that now
43:27 that is the smallest calliber sniper rifle ever made.
22:17 all of goldfingers henchmen are asian. there must have been an asian henchmen union in the sixties.
45:00 it’s a clown car but instead of clowns it’s similiarly dressed asian men. in retrospect not as funny.
46:28 stop shooting the obvious shield and just shoot the man off to the side.
46:50 good job bond now you’ve gotten a pair of sisters killed.
47:16 does anyone actually understand oddjob or do they just feel bad and guess what he wants?
48:10 granny gatekeeper is the greatest henchman of all time. she will fuck you shit up.
48:45 Asain man bowling. Bond only got a spare
49:14 Go asain clown car Go
49:50 good thing bond drove into the foam house and not a real one.
50:34 Greatest elaborate death trap ever.
51:20 i don’t think goldfinger is taking in the fact of the mess this would leave all over his floor
52:22 and that’s why Goldfinger is one of the best villians ever. he only cares about his objectives.
53:38 at least castrate Bond it will slow him down a little
54:25 galor is a great character but not very hot. has a kate mulgrew thing going on
55:35 he was thinking of sex. in case you didn’t get it
56:36 that’s a toy plane. i think the wires give it away
57:32 to this day i don’t understand why this scene is here. so she’s spying on him in the bathroom. unless she has a pissing fetish no one gives a shit.
58:30 oh right the bug. but that’s it. the rest of the scene is still pointless
59:24 Bond your a jackass, she knows the gun would be a stupid thing to do
1:00:24 a flying circus. to bad they had that tragic clown accident a year back. more people might have shown up
1:01:15 at this point i could find one of these asaian henchmen outfits for a halloween costume
1:02:20 and then pussy galor is chopped up in the propellar by one of her students.
1:02:50 why isn’t it that whenever there is a group of women working together in these movies they all seem like a lesbian sex club
1:03:55 “I really hate that asshole”
1:04:22 sorry bond there is no man sized air vent to sneak through this time
1:05:19 so mobsters are fucking children. good to know. I’ll bring candy next time
1:06:00 you know what’s better than a million dollars. Ten million dollars
1:07:37 someone had to build this room. how cool is that
1:08:40 what’s really going through the henchmen’s head is how damn sexy bond is.
1:09:19 dude it’s not like bond is chris angel. he’s still in the room there is no reason to go looking for him.
1:10:40 this model must exist somewhere in a studio back lot.
1:11:20 the voice actor for Goldfinger was amazing. that’s right folks the actor didn’t speak a word of english
1:12:07 so dynamite beats electric fence. i see a new version of rock paper scissors coming on here
1:13:27 he actually enjoyed saying that. i have a feeling everyone was getting a good laugh saying pussy in an internationally released film
1:14:20 if you were going to kill them than why explain the master plan. not just explain the master plan but lie to them about it. bond villians just need an audience some times. it’s not like bond actually cares.
1:15:47 i wish oddjob was in every frame of the movie. just in the background looking longingly into the camera
1:16:30 i’ve always been curious why older films used rear projection for the most mundane parts in films when they were obviously on set.
1:17:17 Blind no, deaf yes. so complaining about it won’t really get you anywhere
1:18:58 don’t crush it with the body inside. it’ll just getting all gooey and leak out the sides.
1:20:50 goldfinger fucking loves the name Operation Grand Slam. He’s said it like five times now
1:21:42 he just asked her to have sex with bond. my god these movies had problems.
1:22:00 isn’t this a little over kill guys. I hope your getting overtime for this
1:23:01 i just don’t buy bond as a brilliant mathematic. he’s never been that smart.
1:23:56 and yet Goldfinger tells Bond the truth. classic villian
1:25:12 “What did you do oddjob? now we have to clean out the entire trunk. there’s blood everywhere.”
1:26:44 just have sex. the play fighting is just redundant
1:27:35 so Bond is raping her now. and she then likes it. and people say the movies have bad role models.
1:28:15 Operation rock a bye baby? does goldfinger have all these written down. i bet he comes up with them on the toilet.
1:29:09 i’m pretty sure fort knox is restriced airspace. fighters would be all over their ass already
1:29”52 oh it’s rock a bye baby because it puts them to sleep. i get it. do you? DO YOU?
1:30:20 and this is why i think these women are men haters. they’re enjoying putting all these soldiers to death
1:31:23 IT’S A CONVOY! GET YOUR CB RADIO’S OUT THIS IS GOING TO BE A HELLAVUA GOOD TIME!
1:32:55 their so cute in their matching outfits and hats.
1:34:00 it’s laser time. they ain’t got shit on moonraker though
1:35:25 oddjob is confused and curious about the flying machine. is it magic? Oddjob don’t know
1:37:20 goldfinger wants to shower in gold bricks. He wants them so bad. i can’t imagine the bruises though
1:38:32 how would you know to prepare for that unless you knew something like this would happen.
1:39:53 go oddjob go and you’re a crappy shot
1:40:09 that’s the only bad part of the hat you have to go fetch it everytime.
1:40:47 my god what is this man made of. diamonds? cast iron?
1:41:33 you see he’s actually just toying with Bond. he’s getting a good laugh out of all of this.
1:42:38 oh, he’s made of fireworks. hence all the sparks.
1:44:15 bond is a brilliant improvisor, staragatist, mathmatician, and can charm the panties off a nun but he can’t find the right wire to pull
1:45:10 “blew a fuse” because he’s dead. get it? GET IT!
1:46:00 and this is the story of how Bond saved America forever
1:46:23 “this won’t do for my puppet show at all!”
1:47:20 and goldfinger gets flushed out a window. there isn’t really anything i can say about that
1:47:55 when the pilot says your dead. you’re probably dead. you can stop trying now.
1:48:35 “this is the time for fucking.” yeah read that in Connerys voice and tell me that’s not funny.
and that’s Goldfinger. I’ll be back at 7:30 tommorrow. This was fun and i forgot how much better paced this film was.
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