"Moonraker" Live Blog!

Hover Gondola!

Live Blog Starts at 2.

:44 oh look that one airplane is giving the other a piggy back ride

1:21 so these guys were just hiding in the military grade shuttle craft. someone live in pre 9-11

2:13 listening to one side conversations are fun

2:50 can't a guy make out with a girl and not get a gun to the face

3:41 oh looks it's jaws. i guess he's in this films as well then

4:07 i will say this about the moore years. they knew when to use the bond theme

5:05 it's a bird, no it's a plan, no it's a eight foot man with metal teeth that kills people by biting them

5:38 jesus jaws is going to live through this. at this point he's immortal

6:40 it's a shirley bassey theme but it's moonraker which makes me sad. a shirly bassey rendition of goldeneye i would kill for

7:21 is she suppose to be a space ship?

8:41 besides being a spaceship what the fuck does moonraker mean. they put it in the song it must mean something else. this being bond it's probable a disguised sex position

10:00 "most secret"? what's wrong with "top secret" i guess "some" people are allowed to know this

12:00 so bond goes straight to the bad guy. i guess i missed something

12:33 oh right he makes the moonraker shuttles.

13:10 why not just live in france?

14:23 my question is how many super billionaires live in this world? and once bond destroys their estates what happens after that?

15:20 bond is the worst spy ever. everyone knows his name his job and reputation

16:19 i've never heard someone say cucumber sandwich in such an evil way

17:03 dr. goodhead? that's not a blowjob joke is it?

18:07 don't act fucking surprised Bond! you're not helping things.

19:05 stop it national geographic. i don't watch bond for education i watch it for sexism and stupid action

19:58 if 20'gs can kill you then why allow the machine to go that fast

20:48 "you're mother is stripping infront of the entire training crew next door" "i better go"

21:51 evidently bond is epileptic

22:51 thanks Q for giving bond the one gadget he needs to solve this particular problem only five fucking minutes ago

23:53 see bond was suspicious before but now the villain played his hand and bond knows he's the villain. stupid fucking bond villains.

25:28 lady at least have sex with him first and then give him the info. he's just getting a free fuck now

26:51 look lady you're not trying very had to stop him so who's really at fault here

27:37 he was just looking at her boob again.

28:05 at least the camera is easily identifyable as the one that has all the super secret picture on it.

28:53 what does this guy do? just hide around corners all the time

29:30 it was a sad day for birds everywhere. we will never forgot the atrocities of this day

31:32 this guy seems really new at this whole villain thing. all his attempts to kill bond have either been half assed or incompetent

33:00 and when he means terminating employement he actually means get eaten by dogs.

33:48 HOVER GONDOLA!! I SEE YOU THERE

34:32 never put a james bond in a glass shop

36:35 bond you're suppose to put some distant between yourself and the person your following

37:27 "...don't bother, i'm a lesbian" Bond's true nemesis

38:33 oh look christopher lee is back

38:49 FUCK YOU HOVER GONDOLA! i will take a lot of shit but this is too much

39:54 does venice really have stop lights?

40:22 fucking hover gondola

40:57 did that pegion just do a double take. fuck you movie fuck you

42:11 is it sad that i instantly think that scientist is german by just how he looks

42:33 ok when did close encounters come out. they had better not be stealing that.

44:14 now drink it and see what it does!!

45:09 well maybe you guys should have been haz mat suits or gas masks or something. for all i care you guys killed yourselves

46:00 nice job announcing when you are going to attack dumbass

47:30 there have been a lot of bad henchmen in the bond series so far but this guy takes the cake

48:30 i don't think this guy even knows how to fight. he's just yelling and striking out randomly

49:43 ok something came up and i have to go. I'll finish this later today

50:19 where are all these gadgets coming from? she's worse than Q

51:06 there is nothing standard about any of this stuff

52:16 this man must have a boner twenty four seven. there is just no way one man can have this much sex and still be standing

53:49 que price is right failure song here

56:20 this is the one thing i won't miss. the useless travel shots that show bond getting off planes, checking into motels, and just driving around

58:33 and bond is still wearing a tux in this. dude just relaxe.

59:56 the most terrifying image put to film.

1;00:36 it is time to fucking leave.

1:00:50 don't walk up to him!

1:01:25 ummmmm you can escape now he's not going to hurt you

1:02:24 "i guess i will party, i really wanted to kill bond but partying is the next best thing, if you insist"

1:03:35 when does rio stop partying is the question? these people have been going for a day straight

1:05:40 JAWS GOD AMONG MEN, HE BENDS METAL TO HIS WILL

1:07:55 hooray for awkaward fights that aren't suspensful

1:09:30 and jaws brushes it off like nothing. such a cool dude. if his penis wouldn't impale me i would have his man babies.

1:10:00 oh look, jaws in love! let my barf

1:11:19 her distraction methods are second too none, "just keep staring, just keep staring"

1:12:32 making the cast of jackass proud

1:14:35 i feel like the monks here should be objecting to some of this

1:15:40 and now bond is a herbologist.

1:16:45 INITIATE RANDOM ACTION SEQUENCE.

1:17:32 This is a very sad day for the dummy race. this is a day that will live in infamy

1:18:38 is this a commercial for carlson boats. must be.

1:21:35 and so bond just followers her into a death trap

1:21:53: "what's that dick? yeah i'll totally keep following her in hopes to have sex with her."

1:22:46 we're getting really low on the evil animal here.

1:24:11 in any context that was a bad joke

1:25:27 this guy isn't a villian he's a cult leader

1:27:01 that's a really good question with a really answer

1:28:16 this is the worst conference room ever.

1:29:44 they would still die

1:31:21 way to be alert guys you just allowed a woman and an aging man to knock you out

1:32:55 is no one else monitoring the sky's right now? wouldn't someone notice how many shuttles had just launched

1:34:30 guys just wait until we get to the station ok there is no reason to start now.

1:35:18 you're in antigravity it doesn't make you move slower bond

1:36:33 there had to be some initial investers for this project

1:37:58 this guy is never been in space before he's just flaying around

1:39:11 wait how did she get on board?

1:40:15 this guy needs to work on his public speaking skills

1:41:43 this is the ministry of fucking goofy walking

1:42:39 way to go bond you get a gold star

1:43:14 MEANWHILE ON EARTH!!

1:43:20 "so guys about this thing that just showed up on our radars."

1:44:24 "i found you. you're turn to play hide and seek"

1:45:03 you were just saying letters. that means nothing

1:46:00 just shoot bond. it's all you gotta dude

1:47:12 "...expect for you bond, i have no idea how to kill you. i have this gun but that doesn't make sense."

1:49:21 if one button could cause that much damage why can it be so easily accessed

1:50"29 i like how they have a shuttle that was prepared to be a troop carrier

1:50:56 LAZER BATTLE!!!

1:53:06 These are some weak ass laser guns.

1:54:03 why does that thing have 7 barrels.

1:54:23 and bond just airlocks a dude. harsh

1:55:00 IT'S ALIVE

1:56:25 everyone is wearing space suits but no one is wearing helmets.

1:56:57 and they leave jaws to die in space. assholes

1:57:58 you are about to die why are you smiling and waving goodbye like you're going on vacation

1:59:58 these actually seems really easy they are in SPACE

2:00"56 she seems a little too calm

2:01:36 stay on target, stay on target

2:03:08 but he's bond why would you do that

2:03:20 lol sex

"The Spy Who Loved Me" Live Blog!

This is perhaps my favorite Moore Bond film. It's less cheesy than the previous two films and introduces Jaws for the first time. We start in 45 minutes.

:52 the most laid back submarine crew in history. what doest that guy have tea?

2:24 "Oh my god, it's gary busey dressed as a mermaid"

3:40 "....which is right now"

4:09 female version of james bond. color me excited.

4:42 and when he means pull out he actually means to stop having sex.

5:18 that has to be the worst bond watch in the film franchise. he has to reload it after every messege

6:00 funky 70's music bond theme. i can dig it.

6:48 at this point i feel 100% bad for henchmen. they never get the upper hand

7:05 i mean come on how were they suppose to know there was a gun in his sky pole

7:50 one of the best stunts and best uses of the bond theme i've seen in a while

8:47 also one of the best songs (even though it's slow paced) and one of the best opening sequence

9:38 also tits. was the mpaa not even watching these films?

10:34 sad russian diplomat is sad

11:15 xxx you're the best russian spy ever please don't sleep with bond. you're the strongest female character the franchise has had since pussy galore

12:44 see this is what was lacking in the other bond films. there were no emergancy meetings. bond just went off and did things. we get some real stakes here

14:07 i love how Q just steps in. "ACTIVATE Q TECHNICAL MONOLOGUE"

15:17 if i ever become rich i want a unnecessarily long dinning table.

16:37 the more gentlmenly the bond villian the more evil he is

16:55 see shark tank. you have to be a class 5 villain to have a shark tank rigged with a slide from your elevator

17:51 look at the little scientists run. their so cute when their scared.

18:40 MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM!

19:10 JAWS, everyone loves you. best henchmen ever! mostly because he actually lives longer than half a movie

20:03 i'm getting a bit of an aquatic theme with this villain. i don't know why?

21:03 if i ever see bond ride a camel again it will be too soon

22:22 i wonder if the woman whos job it is to just lay around the place have a union. how would they go on strike. lay around some where else.

23:13 i'm not even going to comment on that. if anyone sees roger moore they should slap him in the face just for that. "delve into their treasures" my ass.

25:14 really can a single woman in this franchise try and not sleep with bond. that's it bond has magical powers to wetten panties. it's the only explaination. XXX we still believe in you.

26:38 you see this is actually oddjob's cousin. unfortunality he's a horrible shooter, fighter, and is a bit of a finch

27:42 ok national geographic must have started funding these films. this is getting intursive

28:42 he'll be back. unless your a terminator that is never good news.

29:43 the scientist body count in this film is getting pretty high

30:09 god his dentist must hate him. maybe he doesn't have a dentist but a blacksmith.

30:53 this is a very unsantitary way of killing people. all that blood has to go somewhere

32:07 resist XXX resist. don't let bond's magic swad you

32:49 i'm really enjoying the use of music in this entire sequence. awesome

33:19 she wore a sexy dress. fuck this isn't a good sign

34:10 "wife killed" goddamnit i thought we moved on from that

34:56 "don't sit there, that's where harvey is sitting"

36:01 YOU BROUGHT IT WITH YOU! you fucking moron!

36:50 commence the raping!

37:37 i'm really digging the use of music in this film. i never noticed it before

37:58 i wonder if the massive fucking man with that's running away from the bite mark victim did it?

39:02 jaws had some real forsight here. he wired the back with a microphone. he is a testiment to henchmen everywhere

40:02 i love jaws grin. "it's murderin' time"

41:41 my one question is why doesn't xxx have a gun

42:28 oh wait there it is my bad

43:00 that shot isnt' suggestive at all

44:05 that is perhaps the most terrifying thing in cinematic history. you just don't do that to a car!

45:32 don't you dare throw that rock at them. I would have to worship you as a god if you did

47:00 yup that's a landscape. thanks movie. i couldn't tell

47:59 thanks random gadget. this is what the Q scenes are for. otherwise it feels like he's just pulling these out of his ass

48:45 you don't have to do it xxx. please don't do it xxx. i know his magic is strong but you can resist.

49:16 kissing is ok i guess. she's trying to steal something from him that makes sense. right? right?

50:00 hooray she gassed him

51:00 so bond is just going to roam the desert in a tux then. alright then. i guess national geographic has more of a hold on the film than i thought

52:43 the cold war was so quiant in retrospect. just a gaint pissing contest.

53:30 i get why M and money penny are here but why is all of Q branch here?

53:55 you guys are just showing off now! the nerds need something i guess

55:18 oh look the spy's for the two sides of the cold war are trying to one up each other. never saw this one coming

56:06 resist xxx resist!!

56:41 bond is wondering why his magic isn't working right now. "the force is strong with this one"

57:28 you two stop foreplaying through the door.

57:52 i have to say it her tits are emmaculant

58:00 hooray for jaws!

58:47 his hand is as big as bond's face. jesus

59:07 dude just close your lips

1:00:07 stop it Bond. i can see what your doing here!

1:00:44 NOOOOOOOO!!

1:01:03 I had such high hopes for you xxx. you've failed me

1:01:50 i wonder if Q branch keeps Bond in stock of condoms? just a thought

1:02:52 ah the checking into the hotel scene. never gets old. oh wait no that's wrong. it was old in Dr. NO

1:04:15 i'm sorry i don't buy roger moore as a marine biologist

1:04:38 well this is what you get xxx you slept with him now you have to deal with it

1:04:55 MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM!

1:05:56 come on xxx you can still redeem yourself you just have to kill everyone in the film

1:07:33 somewhat of a recluse?? alright howard hughes meets lex luthor. what ever you say

1:09:18 a tanker? built by an environmentalist. i find that to be a bit of a stretch

1:10:58 why have a bitch seat on a motorcycle if you aren't going to use it.

1:12:19 when will someone realize that shooting out of a moving car is a bad idea

1:12:55 JAWS, henchmen that can't be killed. so bad ass

1:11:25 oh! the whole thing is a rocket. well then

1:11:46 "I REGRET NOTHING!"

1:12: jaws, the henchmen that won't die. so bad ass

1:14:08 at least these guys are presistant

1:14:58 where we're going we don't need any roads!

1:15:48 why isn't Q getting laid all the time. he's the one that builds everything

1:17:05 ugh i'm getting flash backs to thunderball. make it stop

1:17:40 "son do you have any idea how many knots you were running?"

1;18:52 dum dum, dum dum, "get out of the water! CAR! CAR!"

1:19:54 is she trying to talk sexy or just slow. the line there is really thin

1:21:40 "honey, i've killed more people than i can count."

1:22:35 doesn't look very over right now?

1:23:49 and boob. seriously who was asleep at the mpaa this year

1:25:20 my bond sense is tingling

1:26:02 so it's a vagina eating a penis. seriously can i get a bond film that's not a sex metaphor

1:27:04 impressive set though

1:27:34 all i can think about right now is what it would be like if bill gates or steve jobs decided to become super villains.

1:29:25 i don't think a hat constitutes as hiding

1:31:36 New York? why not london, or eve washington?

1:32:24 finally a bond villain i can understand. he thinks he'd doing the right thing where as all the others are just after world domination or fun

1:34:22 you're evil lair is not complete until you have the trolley car installed.

1:35:50 i will say this the americans know a fucking escape when they see one. no fucking hesitation

1:37:05 jesus christ this is kind of crazy. this is so much better than you only live twice.

1:38:24 talk about grenade spamming

1:39:08 nice try dude i kind of liked you

1:39:50 MEANWHILE AT THE LEGION OF DOOM!

1:40:28 how many times does this make this? bond's third nuclear bomb disposal?

1:42:00 i've played operation i could do this shit

1:43:35 looks like bond has giant balls...sorry i couldn't resist

1:44:11 the fucking use of music in this film is fucking genius

1:46:08 so bond picks up a book and magical knows how to control everything. that's believable.

1:48:18 Bond trumps superman in this situation. superman could only get one bomb without turning back time. Bond can get both on the first try

1:50:37 if you use brute force and it didn't work than you have used enough

1:51:51 god if sean connery did this bond film and hunt for red october the jokes would be endless

1:52:34 "looks like the legion of doom, sir"

1:53:33 when has bond not been in danger of being courtmarshelled?

1:55:10 i mean seriously how many times has bond had to deal with trap doors. he knows all the tricks.

1:56:10 right in the crotch. why is bond always threatening other means junk

1:56:56 jesus bond you fucked up your one shot on the smallest part of his body. even if i tried i don't think i could hit someone on the teeth

1:57:33 again with the nut shots.

1:58:13 so there is a giant magnet there why?

2:00:37 did they have to get her in that dress and completely drench her in water?

2:01:53 at this point do you really think she's going to shoot him? of course it would make more sense if she did. because now she's suddenly fine with him

2:02:32 ummmm jaws, land is that way?

2:03:48 that was awesome! tomorrow at 2 it's fucking moonraker baby!

"The Man with the Golden Gun" Live Blog!

Well here we are again with the second Roger Moore Bond film that, in my opinion, sets the real tone of Bond for the next decade. It's absurd, too jokey, and nearly unintelligible. I know many Bond fans actually grew up watching Moore in theatre's and loved him but I feel that's more nostaglia talking than anything else. Any way I'll be live blogging here on WordPress until it crashes on my as well. I'll be starting at 2 o'clock eastern today and the final version will be posted here.

00:28 hooray they finally centered bond in the barrel shot

:49 isn't it unfair to give him a tray bigger than him

1:15 is a third nipple suppose to be scary. this film certainly thinks so

2:30 they must really like tobasco sauce around here.

3:35 this was the dudes first mistake. he should have just fired when he had a chance. now it's a game and he's going to get shot in the head.

4:17 "it's locked" thanks asshole. i didn't figure that out when i tried to fucking open it.

4:45 so when people are going into funhouses at the carnivale it's really an assassin simulator?

5:38 this is the sad thing about this film. I've always thought a bond film were he goes up against a similarly trained assassin would be awesome. an epic cat and mouse game. this film tries to be that but fails with all it's humor and stupid situations

7:15 you know i'm sure the creepy narration isn't helping much

7:35 WHAT DID I TELL YOU!

8:01 if the deal is to kill scaramonga why doesn't knick knack just shoot him in the face while he sleeps.

8:42 i kind of enjoy this song. i wish they cut out the opening sequence for something else and let the song tell scaramonga's character

10:55 that was an awkward moment. seems like Bond interuppted a circle jerk

11:59 you know from all the shit bond had put m through you'd think he'd be happy that scaramanga is trying to kill bond

12:57 this is the bond franchise trying to be current. all it does is date the film...oh wait...

13:53 i like at this point m doesn't give bond orders he just gives him a vacation and hints at what he should do

14:59 why would anyone put a used bullet in their belly button. seems unsanitary

15:55 "i have the largest boner you have ever seen!"

17:11 that's is horribly unsanitary. what does this woman do for a bath? empties used needle juices into the water?

18:40 "OLD HULK SMASH"

19:46 Bond should know by now not to get in a cab. i'm beginning to think bond is just insane

20:23 Yeah Bond! what he said!

20:44 and when he says what it went through to get there he really means he pooped it.

21:42 ok filmmakers when bond goes to any part of the orient you don't have to add a cliche twang to the bond theme

22:32 you know i just realized that in that suit bond stands out like a sore thumb. the man knows nothing of sublty

24:06 only bond would threaten other men's dicks.

25:36 if this was diamonds are forver this scene would have went on for ten minutes and had five steps. isn't effecience awesome

27:01 Goodnight? really that's her name? i prefer pussy galor. at least that's trying

28:18 that guy really likes surprises.

29:24 combined with the music and bond voyeurism here i feel like i'm watching a lifetime film and this is right before the rape scene that the main character spends the rest of the film over coming

30:39 commence the raping

31:29 and this is why women hate bond films.

32:37 what a fucking snear bond put on that sentence. i like pissed off bond

33:18 finally bond's natural element. he should live in a strip club

34:48 if only one lesson can be taken from this film let it be that you should never just a dwarf in a bowler hat

35:59 this must be how knick knack gets his jollies off. he observes scaramanga's kills. super creepy

36:43 "...when i shove it up your ass!"

37:58 he's about to make her stick that gun somewhere that i don't want to know about

38:17 you see the gun here is a metaphor for his dick...in case you didn't get it

40:09 this feels unstable and dangerous....oh i forgot one other thing....and stupid

42:13 and yet you said it all out loud anyway. some times it feels everyone is a little too aware they are in a film

44:24 "bored....bored....bored....bored....bored.....bored..."

44:58 bond don't give a shit 'bout security

45:35 fuck you PG rating! I can see her bush!

46:35 why is everyone treating a third nipples like it's a fucking handicap

48:27 bond feels like the most overdressed person in the film so far

50:00 this feels elaborately creepy and obsessive

50:30 yeah bond i don't think gut punchs will work to well on these guys

51:42 classic bond villain. "don't do it here where i can witness it and be done with the super spy that doesn't fucking die. take him somewhere were he can wake up and defend himself against incompetant henchmen"

53:20 again i feel like i'm watching national geographic.

43:57 clean up ailse three there seems to be a dead man

55:14 and kick to the face. bond don't do this shit!

56:15 i don't know much about martial arts but a lot of this seems made up!

56:36 "why would some one jump out a window like that"

57:18 this is the worst karate school ever. too girls just took down a dozen guys.

57:48 some eleven old boy out there somewhere is masturbating to this

58:35 why would you just drive off without the person you just saved. this is poor planning all around

59:57 and then the kid jumps off the boat randomly. it feels like everyone is trying to bail out of this film

1:00:10 this kid needs to work on his sales pitch

1:01:00 yes because the sheriff in the last film was so funny we just needed him back! fuck you movie

1:02:00 what is with the roger moore bond and boat chases. it's 2 for 2 so far.

1:02:55 can we get back to the real movie now please.

1:03:54 sweet burn!

1:05:00 that's a poor ass gun. you have to assemble it and disassamble it all the time. and it only shoots one round.

1:05:55 racist bond is racist

1:06:35 this is only moore's second bond film but he seems already to old to be hitting on women this young. bond is just a pervy old man for much of the franchise.

1:07:18 Goodnight you can do it! don't sleep with bond! we believe in you.

1:08:21 goddman it goodnight. i believe in you and you've just failed me. you don't have to sleep with him.

1:10:38 that's actually a good point. bond is more lucky than skilled where as scaramonga is just skilled.

1:11:55 lol he doesn't kick goodnight out he forces her to watch him bang someone else. what a dick. at least arrange a threesome

1:13:25 as usual christopher Lee is just playing dracula in every film he's in

1:14:15 be pissed goodnight! you don't have to take it. walk out on him right now!

1:16:55 these two guys stick out just a bit in this audience. just a little bit

1:17:25 his best friend was a bull elephant. i really hope this doesn't turn into a brokeback mountian situation

1:19:18 everyone in this film stands fucking out. how can anyone be spy's here

1:20:12 scaramonga seems very please about himself. it's not every day you get to stuff a woman in a trunk

1:21:31 fuck you movie fuck you. i hate this sheriff character. he needs to die from aids.

1"22"12 thanks sherlock. we really need your hillbilly skills on this one

1:23:15 why would bond even lie about that? who gives a shit who he's talking too.

1:24:33 i really can't say anything bad about the car chases in bond. their usually pretty good.

1:26:22 that doesn't look like a pre planned ramp at all.

1:26:54 that would have been an awesome stunt if they didn't put in that fucking sound effect.

1:28:52 i don't think his jurisdiction reaches here

1:29:25 CARPLANE! THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!

1:30:09 they really dont care about anything he is saying

1:32:45 so bond is also an expert pilot. check

1:34:01 nice landing bond. riding the edge of calling it crashing.

1:35:45 well that was mean. it's all over knick knack face now

1:37:32 so scaramonga has a power plant in his house. with a bunch of joker making vates of liquid. this seems completely safe.

1:39:37 i'm really confused on why all of this is in his house. if you were going to profit off this tech then why wouldn't you build it on the main line so you could route all the power lines into it easily

1:40:46 doesn't seem like scaramonga knows much about his own doomsday machine?

1:42:01 oh look they made him a tiny kitchen. how nice of them

1:42:21 "no concealed weapons." that's why you think scaramonga

1:42:51 she is truely horrible at spy speech

1:44:45 see this is the sad part. all this build up for a simple duel. these two should have met on some kind of battle field. this is just dull

1:45:44 he's not even trying to not look at her tits. i admire his self confidence.

1:46:36 there is so much rape in this film. the lifetime channel is going to have to work over time on this one

1:48:34 if he got a kitchen his own size why couldn't he get the console his own side as well

1:48:58 talk about ruining an awesome fight now i have to deal with the fun house from hell

1:50:25 now this is why we love bond. thinking outside the box.

1:52:42 bikini attack go!

1:53:36 well don't act too surprised bond. women are capable of doing other things other things than getting fucked

1:54:45 there are so many design flaws with this entire complex

1:55:05 seriously goodnight stop being stupid. you're turning into bella swann now.

1:55:53 says the man that was beating on the dangerous components with the hilt of his gun

1:58:57 now for the fake out ending. you can see it coming a mile away

1:59:33 seriouisly goodnight you don't have to fuck him....oh goddman it fine. but i hope you don't enjoy it.

1:59:58 awh....sad knick knack is sad

2:00:48 is this really how we want to end the movie. a midget fight?

2:02:45 WHAT? that confirms it M is pyschic.

2:03:37 you're such an asshole bond you make M listen to you fuck and you cage knick knack on top of the ship.

Well that does it tune in tomorrow at the same time for the spy who loved me.

"Live and Let Die" Live Blog!

Ok evidently Tumblr is just going to delete my page and i have to start over. It's the first of the Roger Moore films and most likely one of his best. I'm not a big fan of Moore or many of the films he made but it's always better than old connery or that asshat George Lazenby.

:21 hooray the main actor is actually in the gun barrel shot.

:48 it's never a good sign when watching an action film when you start off with a boring meeting in the untied nations

1:58 I know this film was a big deal for a lot of black actors at the time but i still feel the film is a little racist

2:50 that afro is going to come to life and devour the world like katamari damacy. i swear to go

4:10 Snakes! why does it have to be snakes.

4:48 i know some bond fans like this song but i don't like it. it's like four different songs smashed together.

5:50 i also think this is one of the weaker opening sequences with the expection of a few moments

7:26 and this is how you should introduce a new bond. balls deep in a random french chick

8:30 and so begins the slapstick comedy of Roger Moore

9:30 bond makes a mean cup of coffee

11:00 M is so angry. i wouldn't be surprised if he actually shot bond once.

12:15 Bond seriously. she was about to leave and so were you. but you still bang her. jesus christ

12:45 if someone is traveling quickly isn't it safe to assume he has purpose. maybe i should be a tarot reader

13:52 Felix i love you. i want your man babies.

14:37 now that's how you assassinate some one. that one fat dude was more ninja like than all the hundred ninjas in you only live twice.

15:35 i will say this about live and let die. it has some great action

16:18 i like how bond is wearing driving gloves. he's so classy

17:10 i never realized that was yaphet kotto until now. he's pretty badass. i should watch more of his films.

18:04 there are just some places were an uptight english gentleman has to feel out of place.

19:02 at least the music isn't super '70's offensive.

20:52 i've always been of the idea that bond's theme should be used when he's actually doing something and not riding in the back of a taxi. i don't find that very suspensful

22:07 what is this a pimp convention?

22:37 bond doesn't even hesitate. he just walks right in and starts ordering drinks. doesn't give a fuck. i wish i had that kind of confidence.

23:18 it wouldn't be a bond film with out a hidden/trap door.

24:06 solitare is "murder everyone in the room" hot

24:40 you see this was before dr. claw had his own operation. early in his career he was a voodoo henchmen

26:17 i will say roger moore is pretty good at the quiping.

26:45 what did they do stumble upon the omega man set

27;56 sorry i cant respect a villain who calls himself Mr. Big

28:44 dude lay off the drugs a little big. you'll hurt yourself.

29:58 ok that's terrifying!

31:12 i really hope this the last bug checking seen i'll ever have to see

32:35 i never understood the use of animals as a why to murder people. it seems ineffecient

33:04 also bond really likes baths

34:43 and bond leaves the snake. meh who cares.

35:39 no one is impressed bond. you identified a gun. here's a cookie

36:33 she's such a wimp. for a cia agent she's really stupid

37:28 she's just screaming to hear herself make noise now

39:30 why is rosie wearing a afro wig. she has hair. she looks fine. why the obesession with the afro

40:48 Quarrel Jr.? what? bond got his father killed. why is he helping bond?

41:44 "no one dares go up there" i wonder were bond is going to go

42:14 i don't think tarot is that accurate.

43:14 rosie is such a poor liar. who gave her this job. she's obviously incompetant

44:04 and bond fucks her anyway

44:49 i don't think anyone react to voodoo like that. ....and away she goes

46:17 sick voodoo burn

47:14 who makes an outfit that's bolted to the wall?

48:30 bond you're such a dick. the dude was just hanging out enjoying the view and you had to come around out of fucking no where and kick him off the cliff. asshole

50:15 she's acting as if they have to have sex. what a chump

50:53 anything to get laid huh bond. that was unnecassary

51:13 neither of them seemed to have enjoyed that. their not even touching. she must have never seen a dick before and freaked out.

52:40 bond's face here is great. "i'm dealing with a bunch of idiots"

54:12 pants over the belly button. i never got that.

55:44 that's not creepy at all. and the flute walkie talkie is a little too much

57:50 i love how dead pan kotto is. it makes him so much more sinister

58:57 really bond? you couldn't find some transport that was a little better than a double fucking decker bus

1:00:44 i see a mythbuster episode here. i don't think that's possible.

1:01:13 GET OUT OF THE WAY!!

1:02:12 and when she means one of these she means any soft service in which she can spread her legs into the air

1:03:15 if i were bond i would stop taking taxi's all together.

1:03:40 this guy his higher than everast

1:04:40 so wait is she with bond or against him?

1:05:14 lol old lady taking flying lessons and gets cuaght up in bond chase. ....no wait that's not funny. fuck you movie

1:05:57 this isn't bumper airplanes guys

1:06:55 what we didn't see there is her vomiting all over bond's face.

1:09:45 i think this is the only time the song is repeated with in the film. kind of weird

1:10:17 more trap doors. they really met their quota here

1:11:56 her tits are literaly trying to crawl out of her dress

1:12:40 that's one thing i never understood why he disguised himself as mr. big it seems convoluted

1:14:10 not since goldfinger have we gotten a plot were the world isn't be ransomed by the villain. they have more realistic goals.

1:14:57 "Butter Hook" that's actually funny

1:15:58 i don't think tarot works like this. not to mention all the pressure she's under right now. hell i couldn't tie my shoes properly in this situation

1:17:00 i should have kept track of how many times bond has been knocked out. i'm surprised he isn't swimming in the kiddie pool now

1:18:36 at least he played it cool when he realized she lost her powers.

1:18:54 oops too late. overreaction time

1:19:32 why won't anyone just shoot bond in the head. i know this has been a major critical issue of the franchise since it's inception (brammmmmm) but it's starting to get on my nerves.

1:20:40 also they're showing bond their entire operation. i wonder whats going to happen when bond escapes this useless trap

1:23:17 honestly this would be a very scary situation

1:24:53 DANGER BOND!

1:27:00 this is perhaps one of the best boat chases you'll ever see.

1:27:35 and straight out of the dukes of hazzard comes this asshole.

1:28:33 this feels like a racist cliche trying to eat another racist cliche.

1:30:11 What is going on right now? it suddenly turned into a benny hill episode by way of dukes of hazzard

1:32:06 what does have in his mouth. golfballs.

1:32:25 wow these guys organize fast!

1:33:20 anyone that names their son Billy Bob should be sent to a siberian prison and then have their limbs ripped off by horses

1:36:40 someone watched Blue Brothers.

1:37:20 alright i take back what i said. it's not one of the best boat chases but it is on the good side. it's just been going on for way to long

1:40"31 poll humping. it's a new sport for men. you may not want to watch.

1:42:09 why do these guys hate those polls so much. this film is pollist

1:43:10 always with the snakes

1:44:02 "so where am i again?"

1:44:53 "all hail the holy top hat!"

1:46:04 seriously guys stop rushing him. he has a fucking gun]

1:47:30 well that was anti climatic. fucking text book

1:48:13 i'm just glad it's not a huge battle. just bond saving the girl and trying to escape.

1:49:00 he is quickly becoming one of my favorite villains. he's non chalant and really sinister

1:51:12 a good smash cut is something i always appreciate

1:52:37 go go gadget magnet watch

1:53:36 death by shark always a classic. he's playing it old school

1:53:45 OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T EVEN SET THAT ONE UP!

1:54:55 ....um.....that was......um.......i don't..........what........i can't.........that was horrifying

1:57:38 this guy really enjoys his job. the only problem here is that he doesn't have a boss. he literally blew up.

1:58:27 this is the bad thing about this kind of fake out. it doesn't really do anything but give us one more fight

1:59:17 his one weakness. wire cutters

2:00:00 ok that was kind of cool

Well that's it. I enjoyed that more than i thought. I'm taking the day off tomorrow but monday will be the man with the g